No word yet on what they’re calling this guy…the Tee Box Bandit, the Putting Green Prowler, the Winter Rules Looter?…

The robbery took place this past Saturday at Brynwood Golf Club outside Milwaukee.

When the party of six, four golfers and two caddies, reached the 16th tee shortly after 11 a.m. a lone gunman emerged from nearby woods and said, “Give me your money,” according to police. (from JSonline)

It has not yet been released how much this sandbaggin’ predator made off with. But all BCC caddies should know that the Caddy scholarship is still up for grabs…so start showing up for work with a glock and always keep your head on a swivel.

…the Mulligan Mugger, the Pitch ‘n Putt Perp, the Lateral Hazard Larcenist?

Darren Rovell asks Is this the Best Sports Promotion Ever? Quoting the press release:

The entire hometown of Philadelphia Soul star wide receiver Chris Jackson has been invited by the team to attend its Divisional Playoff game at the Wachovia Center on Saturday, July 5 as part of Chris Jackson Day. The Borough of Morrisville has a population of 10,096 and team President Ron Jaworski is offering everyone to pick up free tickets at a community celebration this Tuesday afternoon, July 1, at Williamson Park.

Due to TV contract stipulations, the Soul is being forced to hold the game the day after the Fourth of July on Saturday, July 5th. (Fireworks are legal in PA, so Independence Day is like a weekend long m-80 event, people at least need Saturday to take inventory).

Also, due to the nonchalant and apathetic nature of most Arena league fans, Soul management is hedging their bets that some of the 8,000 season ticket holders might not want to go, and they’ll have ample room in 16,000 capacity Wachovia Center for the Morrisville population.

A new edition to the Soul this year, Jackson’s numbers mirror Arena ball scoring culture - the game tallies resembles the NBA… All-Star Game. In 16 games this year, he has 140 receptions for 1,700+ yards and 49 TDs, contributing 294 points to the teams nearly 1,000 this season.

Wild stuff. But again, the people in PA take Fourth of July weekend pretty seriously.

Plus that’s the last day for Bucks County residents to catch An Evening with Ben Franklin at the Free Quaker Meeting House, and Boyz II Men is playing Penn Landing the same night. (I perused PhillyFunGuide.com)

I imagine that it’s a big Sesame Place day too.

What is sick to think about is that if Bon Jovi made this same offer to Asbury Park residents for his PNC Bank spandex revival they’d probably have to call in the riot police


AFL’s Philadelphia Soul: Offering The Best Sports Promotion Ever?

Pearl Jam was scheduled to come on at 8:45. They were on the stage, full-bore, at 8:45. And they stayed there for practically three hours. The intermission was barely long enough for me to go pee.

It was about :38 seconds into the show before Eddie Vedder’d the mic

This was the first time I dabbled in arena rock since the U2 Elevation Tour in 2002. At first, I was little apprehensive about my seating location - behind the stage. But it was actually pretty cool, and you get a real sense for the spell that Eddie Vedder has over the crowd. Mike McCready could have his guitar propped up on his shoulder blades shredding, and if Eddie crept back stage for a smoke the sections around me went ballistic for him. I also had a great view of Eddie getting booze from the crew. (it was sort of a well-oiled, assembly line of stagehands feeding him bottles of Moet).

The highlight of the show for me was hands-down when they closed the first set with ‘Do The Evolution’, which they dedicated to George Carlin. If anybody has this video, I IMPLORE you to post it to YouTube. Here’s the setlist (via Stereogum):

01 “Hard To Imagine”
02 “Save You”
03 “Why Go?”
04 “All Night”
05 “Corduroy”
06 “Faithfull”
07 “Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town”
08 “Down”
09 “Unemployable”
10 “Given To Fly”
11 “Who You Are”
12 “Whipping”
13 “1/2 Full”
14 “Even Flow”
15 “Present Tense”
16 “Daughter” (with the Rangers chant!)
17 “Do The Evolution”
—-
18 “Love Reign O’er Me”
19 “W.M.A.”
20 “Leash”
21 “Spin The Black Circle”
22 “Wasted Reprise”
23 “Porch”
—-
24 “No More”
25 “Crazy Mary”
26 “Comatose”
27 “I Believe In Miracles” (with CJ Ramone on bass)
28 “Alive”
—-
29 “All Along The Watchtower”
30 “Indifference”

Here are some photos from last night. I emailed Ryan Muir - who for my money takes some of the best photos around of New York City rock shows - to see if he was going to be there. He didn’t end up going, but I did find these beauts on Flickr:

Going to see Pearl Jam tonight at MSG! That’s a big one crossed off the list right there.

• The Idea of Superconferences in College Football (The Big Lead)
• Video Interview with the Refs for the Euro Cup Final (The Guardian)
• Zimbabwe Cricket Tour would be ‘Unwelcome’ in England (The Guardian)
• What are the Worst Covers Ever (Pop Candy)
• Five 80s Toys That Didn’t Kill You, Just Made You Stronger (Deuce of Davenport)
• IFC.com’s Jim Shearer has an Unnatural Love for the Beastie Boys (IFC.com’s Lunchbox)

In my opinion, this has basically turned into a game of one-upping. It seems that the further I dive into the World of kickball, the stranger it gets.

And these guys make the pirates from Brooklyn look like merely over-enthusiast camp counselors.

What is weirdest to me is that this is happening in Portland, Maine of all places. Isn’t it like the L.L. Bean Capital of the World?

Ah… Vacationland! It’s here at long last… Summertime in Portland, Maine! Barbecues all over Munjoy Hill, picnics across the Eastern Promenade. Kites flying above the East End Beach, boats sailing in Casco Bay. Friends and lovers lazing on the lawn, families basking on the beach, children frolicking on the playground…

That little snapshot of tranquility came right off the Zombie Kickball MySpace page.

Game play and strategy definitely appear open to individual interpretation. However, the two rules that participants in Zombie Kickball must adhere to above all else are be civil…and be courteous.

To be more specific, that means don’t stagger through flower beds, don’t stumble against cars, and keep your moans to a dull roar.

And, of course, be respectful of the Bayside Little Leaguers playing nearby.

The Third Annual (kickin’ ass and taking brains since 2006!) Zombie Kickball happens on Sunday, June 29 on the Eastern Prom in Portland.

Check out some footage and photos from year one here:

Kevin Garnett’s loud, loud noises sort of swept this under the rug for the past week.

Suffice to say Scalz makes KG (and his Anything To Be Or Not To Be Possible) look like Churchill.

The creme de le creme of this astonishing display…

We do our defensive philosophy

nothing…nothing?

This is gonna be a series, how could that be?

He totally dominates the point guard position, when he’s a small forward, as well as Rajon (wait, Pierce dominates Rajon how?)

How?

Of course, it doesn’t get really good until the end.

Some foreign soccer reporter reminds Scalabrine that he didn’t even play one little second in the Finals…

In five years, you guys are gonna forget (fair point)

In 10 years, I’ll still be a champion (reasonable, in a cliche sort of way)

In 20 years, I’ll probably tell my kids I started! (Did Scalz just invoke the idea him procreating?)

And in 30 years, I’ll probably tell them I got the MVP!

(Confirming that the intellectual ceiling in the Scalabrine gene pool is as low as you thought it might be)

What. A. Retort.

Oh hell yeah.

(via Pop Candy)

Nothing is effing sacred anymore. Not even grass seed.

Proven to protect against pet urine from dogs on steroids. Available wherever miracles are sold.

…I’ve gotta go water my new driveway lawn.

This is Hillary. Isn’t she adorable? (don’t be fooled…). She graciously offered to serve as the featured PBR Tour attendee and post on the following topic:

If you were offered free Pabst for the rest of your life…

What are the Top-3 Possessions (Belonging to your Roommates) That you would Light on Fire

There are quite a few goods belonging to my debonair and lithe roommates that I would not hesitate to hurl into a conflagration in the name of PBR…the first being Berger’s Aerobercise VHS collection, along with the sweatbands, spandex leggings and leotards that accompany the 6am-daily routine. As much as I adore watching any hot man sweat it out to the 80’s…I must protest that being woken up by earth shaking jumping jacks to “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” is losing its comedic appeal.

Next, out of my pure “big sis’ looking out for her lil’ bro” sentiment, I would have to douse in jet fuel and then take a match to Riccardi’s Hannah Montana bedding, posters and bean bag chair. The man is a P.I.M.P. Let me just state that for the record. However, I have a hunch that outfitting him with some new bedroom digs just might lead to a magnanimous action-influx in the boom boom room. (Being the saint I am, I will allow him to keep her CDs and collecting cards).

Lastly, and with a twinge of regret, I would aim my flame thrower at their most recent “grand scheme”: The Bergdorf Astoria Ball Pit. I admit, it was fun the first few days…but turning the living room into a McDonald’s style playpen has lost its appeal and has also lost all of the tv remotes, 2 of my cell phones, my ipod, house keys and on Saturday Berger’s virginity as well- throwing the nearly non existent sanitation factor of the ball pit out the window.

And by the by, I will not hesitate to perform any of these arsonary feats if really given this PBR for LIFE deal. Don’t make any promises you can’t keep or I just may set you on fire too.

It bares mentioning that these are the two imbeciles in reference here. Well done Hillary.

Hope to see you all tomorrow!

He could always make a gentlemen’s bet with Lou Holtz for who will come in dead last, right?

On a conference call this week for the American Century Golf Championship, Jason Kidd said that Barkley is staying on the wagon:

“I was at a recent event with Charles in Palm Springs and we were at a casino. While he could have been tempted by the surroundings, he did not participate. I think once he makes up his mind not to do something, he sticks with it and will be alright.”

Barkley is a 500-1 underdog to win the Celebrity-Am Tournament that takes place in Lake Tahoe the first week in July. Lou Holtz, Brandy Chastain, and Kevin Nealon are the next biggest underdogs at 300-1.

On Barkley’s golf, Kidd said:

“Everyone knows he’s the worst golfer. But he’s also one of the funniest and most popular. But he is the worst golfer I’ve ever seen.”