Back by popular – or dare I say, rabid – demand, this Saturday we will be holding the 2nd Semi-Annual PBR Tour in New York City.

For those of you not in the know, this is your standard bar crawl. Unique to this is that all the watering holes have been carefully selected based on the fact that they sell cans of PBR for $2.

We called each bar- claiming to be Mr. Pabst – confirming ample stock.

It’s starts at 4 p.m. EST at Ace Bar, and the order of bars is included below. Also, check out MapFaced.com for more details. (Note which event is numero uno on their list of 5 Buzzworthy Crawls!)

There is a suggested $5 donation to CharityWater.org. It’s suggested, but listen, folks, this is not like going to The Met, ok? Look at what she’s drinking for Christ’s sakes:

That girl’s water is burnt siena. There’s also the possibility that if we raise enough money some of the proceeds could be allocated towards creating life-size cardboard cut-outs of people you might know.

Any questions, email me at mikeehayes@gmail.com. Also, if you plan on tipping off the authorities, I’d appreciate a heads-up.

Check back tomorrow when we’ll have a post from featured tour attendee Hillary Moloney – who will offer her Top-3 Possessions (belonging to her roommates) she would light on fire if it meant free PBR for life.

The Bars:

1.) Ace Bar (E. 5th, between Ave. A & B) – The Tour kicks off at 4 p.m.

2.) Cheap Shots (1st Ave., between St. Marks & 9th)

3.) Coyote Ugly (1st Ave., between 9th & 10th)

4.) Crif Dogs (St. Marks, between 1st & Ave. A)

5.) Dempsey’s Pub (2nd Ave., between 3rd & 4th)

6.) Welcome to the Johnsons (Rivington, between Essex & Norfolk)

When I first read that cricket is going to allow switch-hitting, I thought how archaic is this sport?

Guardian blogger Richard Williams defends employing switch-hitting, citing Mickey Mantle’s success switching to bat lefty so that he could pooch balls over the short right field wall in Yankee Stadium.

That was pretty revolutionary, progressive thinking…also happened over 50 years ago.

What these cricket ninnies – and cricket is a game played by ninnies – are actually talking about is if the batter (guh, batsman) jumping across the plate (errr, wickets) mid-pitch and then swinging. See for yourself:

Shoot, that was pretty hard core. After Kevin Pietersen hit those two sixes against New Zealand the other day (they look like garden-variety jimmy jacks to me) the MCC endorsed his improvisation.

One of the guvs was quoted saying: Indeed, the stroke conforms to the Laws of Cricket and will not be legislated against!”

That’s great…and geez take it easy, will ya?

According to a Gaurdian poll, 87% of people are against allowing the switch hit (also called the reverse sweep, or the Dominic Monaghan – whose voice it is I hear in my head when I read the Guardian.)

One the commenters on Williams blog asked, who can forget Mike Gatting’s disastrous attempt at [a reverse sweep] at the World Cup in 1987?

Gatting, bloody idiot.

Ah yes, there’s the fancy lad effeteness we’ve come to expect from cricket. I feel much better.

For my next birthday, all I want is 15 seconds of footage of myself getting the Gatorade shower filmed using the super slow-mo.

Presumably, sometime in the next few days there will be a big bruhaha for the Celtics at Fenway Park.

I put it to you, who will get to throw out the first pitch?

Please find the poll on the side underneath my mug. I’ve nominated the big three, the skip, and the man I believe will have the most free time on his hands.

Now that this NBA business is done with, we can move on to other sports happenings. Like Ana Ivanovic being a babe and being ranked number one at Wimbledon.

The roller derby track from Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle has been leveled in a violent windstorm…

A couple years ago, Lali Outhoummountry, the captain of the San Francisco Bay Bombers, and her husband Patrick purchased the track that was used in the opening sequence of the film Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle.

Last Wednesday, the 1,500 lb. track that was being kept in the Outhoummountry’s backyard was picked up by Tornado-like winds, and crushed to pieces.

According the Las Vegas Sun, Lali Outhoummountry said:

the boards started to writhe as the metal framework holding them together began to yield.

The track, which was being kept in the family’s backyard, was a vintage high-banked track reminiscent of the tracks used in the 1960s when roller derby was a Saturday Afternoon television favorite. Today, the most competitive and popular leagues use a flat track.

Lali Outhoummountry and her husband, who both work in casinos and invested $25,000 dollars in the track, say they intend to rebuild it.

The latest in performance stilt technology. These things claim that you’ll be able to jump up to seven feet in the air and run at speeds up to 21 mphs.

…and if you’re this guy, back-flip down residential streets and leap over an F-150.

Pogo-stickers, eat your heart out.

They’ll run you about $350 bucks. But the children’s model is available for only 339.99.

The kids model? Maybe its because I grew up in the era of Crocodile Mile and the Skip-Bo. But who would get these for a sweet, innocent, teeth-intact child?

Man, adults decide to take kickball back from fourth-graders, and this is what happens?

Why am i having trouble finding sideline pics of Donald Sutherland from last night’s game? Turns out the guy sleeping next to the Lakers’ chief rabblerouser Jack Nicholson in the front row is actually Lou Adler.

Lou Who? He produced records for Sam Cooke, The Mamas & the Papas and Carole King among others. He also directed Up in Smoke. And apparently him and Nicholson are best pals.

Well, if they’re such great friends, how come Strother Martin snubbed Jack as Tommy Chong’s dad (Arnold Stoner) in UIS?

Now this guy? Smart money says he was sired by Adler (or Drew Carey). Could be any one of Lou’s four youngest sons – Manny, Pablo, Oscar, Ike.

Not especially likely that was Cisco Adler next to Nicholson last night.

So what do we have to look forward to for the game six sideline in Boston on Tuesday? Mistaking somebody from the Scalabrine brood for Michael Rappaport seems realistic.

Here are some game five thoughts from somebody who knows better.

You’re going to be hearing a lot about My Morning Jacket after their sunrise performance at Bonarroo this weekend, trust me.

• Hangin’ With Mr. McFadden (AOL Fanhouse)
• How the Boston Celtics Saved the NBA Finals (Stet Sports Blog)
• Got A Million Bucks? Have I got a bike for you! (Epic Carnival)
• Asteroid Named For Dead Steelers Guy (With Leather)
• John Voight Joins “24″ (Hollwood Reporter…via Pop Candy)
• Big Daddy Drew on The Blog Show (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Modeled by a medium t-shirt on an industrial street corner in Williamsburg, Brooklyn…only available in XX-L and XXX-L. (via Neighborhoodies.com)

My dark horse in the office U.S. Open Pool…Boo “To the RIGHTT!” Weekley

• Obama/ Bradley ’08? (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
• NBA…Spelled with an Asterisk (Odenized)
• Well Then It Can’t Be All Bad (Rumors & Rants)
• Drew Magary is Somewhat Perturbed with the Help (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
• Why One-Year Contracts and the Answer to all of the problems in Professional Sports (Stet Sports Blog)
• Forever-Friends – Olympic Theme Song (And One)

Guardian writer Steven Wells is all perturbed that us ugly American don’t know the difference between Cricket and Croquet.

This is is tiffed-off face.

Wells claims that the first Cricketeers that came to the U.S. back in the 1800’s were a band of salty, arrogant, muttonchop whiskered bastards look like they’ve stepped straight off some hell-bound pirate ship. They look like they gouge their own mother’s eyeballs out with a rusty cutlass for thruppence.

So if it was Davy Jones who brought us cricket, where could we have gone wrong?

I’ll offer Wells this theory on how things went astray…

I believe it was Dennis Leary who said it best when he said: The French gave us the croissant, and we turned that thing into the croissanwich.

I can only assume that England gave the French cricket and they turned it into croquet. And then the French gave it to us around the same time that pizza joints invented the delicious potato croquette, distracting most of the population for a time from even knowing that either of these games existed.

Thus, cricket and croquet get meshed in people’s psyches… and like most French imports both get treated nonchalantly (just like pasteurization and braille).

In fact, English people should feel bad for us! Cousteau gave you folks the aqualung, and Jethro Tull proved that to be pretty bad ass, did they not?

To his credit, Wells can’t help but admit that croquet is thriving in this country…

As you read this, young Americans are playing eXtreme croquet, colossal croquet and mondo croquet.

Mondo croquet… traditional croquet rules, played with a bowling ball and sledgehammer.

The 11th Annual Mondo Croquet World Championships will indeed take place July 27 at High Noon in Portland Oregon.


It happens during the Mad Hatter festival, so if you go apparently Wonderland dress is encouraged.