Archive for July, 2008

Toss the Burner: July 24, 2008

Thursday, July 24th, 2008

Olympian’s Granny Fights Off Mugger

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
Crime doesn’t pay…the British Olympic track team – as well as their elders, evidently – are trying to tell you this in more ways than one.

Simeon Williamson (center), Dwain Chambers (right); photo credit

Six days ago, England’s High Court upheld a lifetime ban from competition on admitted drug-cheat and Britain’s top sprinter Dwain Chambers – leaving the team’s Simeon Williamson as the Brit’s best chance at a medal in the always coveted 100-meter dash at next month’s Olympic Games.

Today, Williamson’s grandmother, Pearline Williamson, 78, chased down a mugger in North London after her purse was robbed.


When she took my purse I had to do something so I ran after her and grabbed her as hard as I could…She said she hadn’t taken it at first, so I shook the life out of her until she finally gave it back. (Olympic Supergran Chases Down Thief)

Her attitude would make her an Olympic gold medallist if she were just a few years younger, said Williamson of his grandmother. He’s still a strong possibility to take gold in the 100 in Beijing, and allay the team’s Chambers affliction.

The BBC needs to think about a public service announcement featuring this family - is any of the Williamson clan in the Peace Corps currently?

Link:

Dwain Chambers Fails in Attempt to Compete in Olympics (Times Online)
Olympic Athlete’s Grandmother, 78, Chased and Caught a Mugger (Times Online)

China Will Allow Protests at the Olympics…Sort of

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

I believe Gordon Gano said it best with the lyrics: The City is Restless, It’s Ready to Pounce (The Violent Femmes were a quality 80′s band)

The AP is reporting today:

BEIJING – Beijing will set up specially designated zones for protesters during next month’s Olympics, a security official said Wednesday, in a sign China’s authoritarian government may allow some demonstrations during the games. (Beijing to set up Olympic protest zones)

According to the AP, the free zones are being set up miles away from the main festivities at the Olympic Green – out by the softball field and the beach volleyball courts. They’d also appreciate it if all protesters would apply for permission beforehand.

Is there going to be a specific check-in table for objectors? And should you provide a list of militants for RSVP purposes?

Toss the Burner: July 23, 2008

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008


So the power went out in my office, forcing me to work from home yesterday – happened to be the birthday of the cubicle. (Now, there’s irony that you can cut with a knife! Thanks to Brahsome for tipping me off).

Balls Don’t Lie Marathon Live Chat
(Balls Don’t Lie)
Don Cornelius Has a Hot Wife? Wuh? (Flatusyahu)
Fight Fight Fight (With Leather)
Not Ready For Prime Time (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Tiger Woods Out of the Picture, TV Ratings in the Tank (via Deadspin)

A Profile In Courage…Midget Bullfighting

Monday, July 21st, 2008


Friday night, I went to an event that was described to me prior as a midget bullfight where free tequila would be served. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to go, as that I felt morally responsible to.

Is bullfighting even legal in New York!? I thought, as we made our way out to this spectacle. It was out by the Brooklyn Bridge; I presumed at some abandoned warehouse where I would be frisked for weapons and contraband on the way in. Maybe there would be reckless gambling involved!

Turns out there were no bulls. No midgets! The event was actually a book release party at a harmless bookstore (read: no abandoned warehouse, no gambling whatsoever). Thankfully, the free tequila was not a myth, and we drank that liquid opium in the children’s section and read Where The Wild Things Are.


The party was for the release of Enanitos Toreros by Livia Corona. She spent almost a decade living in Mexico at a dwarf colony, the residents of which are huge bullfighting enthusiasts, see for yourself:

I hope you stuck with that until the :22 point. Enanitos Toreros is in stores now!

Toss the Burner: July 21, 2008

Monday, July 21st, 2008


MGMT at McCarren Park Pool this coming Sunday is the Rock ‘n Roll social event of the week. (it’s free too!)

Check out a video after the linking gold…

Toss the Burner: July 18, 2008

Friday, July 18th, 2008

Short of some catastrophic happenings that leaves us all holed up, I’ll be vacating my apartment in two weeks – don’t worry, ladies, I ain’t going far.

Between now and then, I’m determined to hit all the top food locales before I leave the immediate neighborhood. A couple days ago, I told my buddy Riccardi this, and he said that the best gyro he’s ever eaten was from a cart right by my apartment. So, last night I decided to heed his advice. Correct, I went home consciously (and soberly) intent on eating street meat for dinner.

I ordered one of each – a chicken and beef – gyro, and made sure the guy OD’d on the white sauce. And you know what, my pal Riccardi was right, it was totally goddam delicious. I enjoyed these while watching Last Comic Standing – which is a completely tolerable show. And most importantly, it didn’t put me into a food coma, so I could make it to the midnight showing of Batman.

…And The Dark Knight was positively awesome. Short of a parole hearing, drop what you have to do this weekend and go see it. In my opinion, if you’re gainfully employed, come Monday morning you have no one to blame but yourself if someone at your office squawking in elation ruins this movie for you.


Heath Ledger’s performance alone is reason enough to treat seeing it with a sense of urgency. He is totally unsettling. Given the circumstances, while watching I couldn’t help but ponder how Ledger kept the Joker so tightly together (while running amuck on screen), since we know that he was strung out while Dark Knight was being filmed.

Back to roadside cuisine for a minute.

If you saw the operation that these guys were running, you would not question why I took me two-years living in the neighborhood to dabble. Their cart appears to be hooked up to the conversion van they’ve got parked next to it. And the grill looks like it may or may not be that van’s engine. The smoke billowing out of this kiosk consumes the bank they have shopped up next to. This is one delicious sidewalk plague that these guys have created.

Ledger’s brilliant Joker is sort of like this well-prepared street meat. It’s dirtily prepared, but definitely worth devouring.

China Travel Tips For Olympic Athletes (Gadling)
10 Bold Second-Half Predictions (Bugs & Cranks)
Kevin Love has some athleticism after all (Odenized)
If A-Rod Throws a Party and No One Shows, Is It Still a Party? (Gossip On Sports)
Barehanded Helicopter Fishing Is All The Rage (FanIQ blog)

The Wife-Carrying World Championships

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

This is unreal… Finland is awesome.

Yeah, that just happened.

The winner gets his wife’s weight in beer… It is derived from the tribal practice of wife stealing.

I always assumed that Finland was sort of a dark, decrepit country – incapable of something so righteous. I guess I was mistaken.

Win a Date with Natalie Gulbis!

Thursday, July 17th, 2008


RSM McGladrey is holding an essay contest to win a date with Natalie Gulbis.

Essay contest? Apparently, they’ve been reading my blog posts on the resurgence of kickball, and have realized that everyone wishes they were still in fourth grade.

It has to be under-200 words. Lucky for Natalie, I am as succinct as I am suave.


Top-3 reasons Natalie and I are perfect for each other:

  1. My dream job…pro caddy (though I’d give it all up in heartbeat to be Natalie’s human golf tee)
  2. I’ve put myself on a thirty year plan to join the Champion Tour – plan to shave a stroke, and add a yard of driving distance per year.
  3. I’ll take a Wii golf babe over Wii fit babes any day of the week
(photo via Busted Coverage)

Supposedly the theme of the essay is Who’s Behind Your Success? However, I figure it will be hard to argue with my above reasoning…especially when I’m so goddam independently successful

Go check it out, and maybe you’ll have a shot at one of the runner-up prizes like the SkyCaddie measuring device.

Toss the Burner: Dark Knight Day ’08

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

Tickets in hand for a 12:03 show. If you didn’t get yours, well, what can I say? Other than, you’re a failure.

Break Dancing Bees Get Served (The Bachelor Guy)
Punk Rock Scott (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Yooooooouuuur 2008 Superhero All-Star Team (Brahsome)
Tour De Farce (The World of Isaac)
Boxer Undergoes Brain Surgery After ESPN Fight (SportsByBrooks)
The Best: Sportscaster (The Big Picture)
Cardboard Tube Fighting Invades DC (Deuce of Davenport)

And if you somehow scammed tickets for the IMAX. Get bent, I hate you.

(Double-LL, Double-AA)