Every thrifty media whore out there would probably agree – why buy these days, when you can market?

I was hoping that the Tour of Battenkill meant guided tours of like a British Isle village ransacked by Vikings in the 8th century, preserved in its decrepit state (we could pitch the same people who sponsored the Slayer tour to sign on). Unfortunately, of course it’s for a cycling event instead.

According to the listing, last year’s Tour of Battenkill attracted 1200 racers to the event in Upstate New York, which means if you pony up, you get to be the title sponsor of the largest Pro-Am Cycling Race in America! The fifth annual is being held in April ’09, when they expect 1500 racers and 20,000+ spectators.

I’d borrow funds from the projected Q3 earnings for SB Media Ventures LLC to cover the $150K, but unfortunately I don’t think a cycling event properly aligns with our rock n’ roll image.

(If You Had Money Archive)

Easily the best performance in recent times by an athlete with a truly unfortunate name. University of Kentucky guard, Jodie Meeks, dropped 54 points last night, going 10-15 from behind the arc, to lead the Wildcats to a 90-72 victory over Tennessee.

Jodie as in Jodie, the name for females. Meeks as in meek – or docile, submissive, milquetoast. Or Meeks, as in Steven “me and Meeksy are working on a hi-fi system” Meeks from Dead Poets Society.

Frankly, the name Sheryl Miller sounds tougher to me, but there’s no denying that this guy got it done. Check out the highlights:

(c/o Sports by Brooks)

Here are 12 movies screening at Sundance that you should know about (via Pop Candy)
Darius Miles Stuffs Himself (Blaze of Love)
The Most Important Conversation Ever…Continued (Sharapova’s Thigh)
Sblog Tweets Promotes Sports Bloggers Content (The World According to MoonDog)
KSK Suicide Pools: And Then There Was One (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
Scott Pioli Takes the Chiefs GM Job (Barstool Sports)
Snowboarder Owned By Table (Phil Knows Best)
Seattle: Where Banging Your Students Is Totally Kosher (Brahsome)
Kate Hudson’s ass is still talking to me (on205th Magazine)
Giants’ Fans Unleash Verbal Abuse On Eagles’ Fans (Busted Coverage)

Stud FSU Safety/ would-be NFL Draft selection/ Rhodes Scholar for da dolla! Myron Rolle announced today that he’ll pursue Med School at Oxford instead of going pro.

Astute move, Rolle. I keep telling myself that I too decided to delay when I’d be receiving my truckloads of cash in life.

Now check out the video for the Myron Rolle action figure.

( Florida State star picks Oxford over NFL draft )

Late 80s/Early 90s Sports Apparel Fashion Confessions (The Legend of Cecilio Guante)
Detroit Police Department Exhibits Kindness (The World According to MoonDog)
Griffin could miss all of 2009? (Cagewriter – Yahoo! Sports)
T-Mac Taking a Two-Week Break (Slam Online)
THE 10 BEST SPORTS MOVIE COACHES (The World of Isaac)
Cuzoogle’s Crush of the week – Carly Pope (Cuzoogle)
MLB Network’s “Hot Stove” Blows Away ESPN’s “Baseball Tonight” (Sharapova’s Thigh)
The A.V. Club interviews Flight of the Conchords’ Bret and Jermaine (The A.V. Club via Pop Candy)
2009 NFL Championship Cheerleaders (The Guy Report)
Flying Man (NY Hoosier)

In an attempt to shed their obscurity ’round campus, the UCLA Women’s Rugby team hosts an annual prom dress rugby match, with their third ever happening this past weekend…

Not to be confused with the thrift store three-piece suit match…hosted each year by the UCLA water polo team. Or the bikini car wash that the UCLA cheerleaders are perpetually running in my wildest dreams.

( UCLA Women’s Rugby )

The Broncos Bring In An Offensive Genius To Be Head Coach… Why? (Sharapova’s Thigh)
Joey Graham is The Wrestler (Cuzoogle)
Cat Fight! Beyonce vs Janet Jackson (MoonDog Sports)
NFL Teams Desperate For Good Running Backs (Gunaxin)
Charles Barkley got his golf swing fixed by Tiger Woods coach Hank Haney (NESW Sports)
Coach Dungy to Retire From The Colts (In Game Now)
Dallas, TX: Dining in Big D (Fan Foodie)
I just want to bang on the desk all day (9 to Fried)
Hardcore Sitting (Don Chavez)
Janeane Garafolo is Hot??? (Brahsome)

Bet you didn’t think that Kung Fu Friday would fall so early in the Calendar year. Think again my little Shaolin swordstylists!

And I’ve got a special Kung Fu Friday surprise coming your way later on, so keep your head firmly on a swivel and check back with the SB dojo in the P.M.

A cache of Kung Fu Friday pics after the links…

(Kung Fu Fridays blog)

Someone you can’t recall added you as a friend on Facebook… (This is Illuminati)
Florida’s Major Wright Knocks OU’s Manny Johnson The F*** Out (MoonDog Sports)
Michael Jordan on Michael Jordan And His New Shoe – Sports Biz with Darren Rovell (CNBC.com)
Florida Gators, 2009 BCS National Championship Game Highlight Videos (NESW Sports)
Batmalard vs. The Clown Plince of Clime. WHO YA GOT? (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
I Hate Florida (Barstool Sports)
Band Shots Down During The BCS Title Game, Announcer Idiocy Up (Awful Announcing)
The Difference is Interceptibility (The Big Lead)
Tim Brando To Radio Caller: You Shut The Hell Up (SportsByBrooks)
Motivational Posters: Redux (Brahsome)

I used to play ultimate frisbee with this dood – the deejay sporting the Teenwolf mask.

It pretty much rocks. Fordham.we.go.hard.

In ’09 Steady Burn believes in one band…and it’s Ninjasonik

Links:

Ninjasonik.com
Ninjasonik Facebook Fan Page
Myspace.com/ninjasonik

Some cool hell on wheels news of the International persuasion, women’s flat-track squads from Birmingham (UK) and Stuttgart (Deutschland) will face off at the end of the month in Germany. The teams met in the first ever European cross-border battle in November ’08, with Birmingham giving Stuttgart the business, edging out a victory 81-75. They’ll rematch on Jan. 31 in the New Year’s Massacre.

Check out the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames and Stuttgart Valley Roller Girlz team sites for more info

…Now, on to a plethora of what’s happening…

Border Wars: College Football Recruiting Battles (MoonDog Sports)
BAR IS SOMEWHAT ATTRACTIVE (What Would Tyler Durden Do)
UK Rugger Gets His License Suspended for Three Years for Drunk Driving (Telegraph)
Will Yankees Luxury Suite Controversy Topple Bloomberg Administration? (Deadspin)
Aziz Ansari, Comedian (Gothamist)
Top 10: Music Blogs to Read in 2009!… Including one of my personal favorites Earfarm (via Pop Candy)
Danny Granger’s Three at the Buzzer: ‘You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me’ (Fanhouse)
Lil Wayne on ESPN’s 1st and 10… The Whole 22 Minutes! (Phil Knows Best)
Unlike Josh Hamilton, Chris Andersen Is Comfortable In His Inky Skin (Tirico Suave)
Who will score down under? Australian Open women’s odds (Cuzoogle)
Jon Stewart on Gaza (NY Hoosier)
NFL Year In Review (Intentional Foul)
Bored? Let Diamond Dave get you through the day (9 to Fried)
Noelia’s got some serious backside (on205th)
CHEERLEADER CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A OKLAHOMA SOONERS GREATEST GAMES DVD (The World of Isaac)

Special bonus post today, because this is the coolest thing I’ve seen all week.

H/T to Nah Right for posting this first. Rapper Skillz recaps the five illustrious seasons of The Wire in a single five minute – 678 bars, approximate – verse. Hell yeah.

You there sir! With $168 williams in your wallet, I’ve got two words for you…

Tattooing. Kit.

I just held my right hand steady for about 15 seconds, so I think I’m qualified to bid on this. And no, I’m not the least bit sketched out that they’re offering free shipping FROM CHINA.

As an aside, if there is any way to search for items being shipped from China that are “kit” related on EBAY, I’d be interested to check out that wacky assortment of goods.

To further quell any reservations you have about picking up this item, bear in mind, there is also tattoo removal available for purchase on Ebay… asking price of $1.5 million.

(If You Had Money Archive)

Hip-Hop’s leading paper chaser turned ESPN.com blogger, Lil Wayne, is now podcasting too. You can check it out here: “Tim Tebow has a chip on his shoulder the size of a funyon,” brace yourself for 5+ minutes of shout outs towards the end.

During the first of the two fresh podcasts put up yesterday, Weezy had a message for favorite Major Leaguer, Manny Ramirez (i’m his number one fan, and his number two fan), saying if Manny goes to his hated Yankees he’s going to dedicate the best song on Tha Carter IV to reprimanding Manny (quote, if he goes blue, I’m off the mane train, mang).

Five-Year-Old Chef Gets His Own Show (NPR.org)
What’s Wrong With The Cavaliers? (Waiting For Next Year)
Top 10 Fictitious Wrestling “Hometowns” and the Athlete Most Likely to Hail From there (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Five feature films now playing in the NBA (Cuzoogle)
Portland, OR: Ballin in the City of Roses (Fan Foodie)
Celebrity Buddhists Busted (City Rag)
Mickey Rourke Joins Cast of Stallone’s New Flick (via Pop Candy)
Amateur Assistance for Kerry Collins’s Amateur Musical Career (Kissing Suzy Kolber)