I’ve been playing around a little bit with buildtheperfectsandwich.com, a website that Hellman’s launched recently. Smug enthusiast Bobby Flay is involved too, and there’s an opportunity to win $10 Gs. (Flay can eat Guy Fieri’s lunch by the way).

I checked out the sandwich recommender app they’ve got on there. Thought it was going to be the fat man’s special of personality tests. So far, I’ve been recommended a zucchini and roasted red pepper melt and a portobello mushroom pita. Those results hurt my feeling, but for a shot at 10 large, hell, I’ll let Hellman’s feed me some ruffage.

And this sandwich recommender did give me an idea, in honor of Final Four weekend…

What’s Your Team’s Big Man’s Victory Sandwich?

I hope BTPS is cool with it, I opted to pull my recommendation instead from ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com…

Tyler Hansbrough

You may think that Tyler Hansbrough is more a balogna & cheese, PB&J with the crust cut off type of guy. Personally, I think his eating probably reflects his game - reckless, not at all pretty. He’ll be having the Loosiana Gator Dog.



He may very well lead NC to the promised land this year, but Hansbrough is going to have a tough transition to the pros. And that thing is going to have a tough transition to your digestive tract.

Hasheem Thabeet

Speaking of adorable, Hasheem Thabeet. Thabeet is from Tanzania, where apparently Indian food is quite popular. Well, Indian food is not very well represented on TIWYF (closest thing I could find was the romellete - a ramen omelet). Thabeet seems like a cultured guy, perhaps he’d celebrate with the Island-styled Jabaconageburger With Cheese:

Goran Suton

If Michigan State pulls off the improbable in Detroit this weekend, I’m predicting that Lupe Izzo is going to be all over Goran Suton’s Eastern Euro jock in celebratory fashion (Have you ever seen a more pensive, seemingly unfaithful, coach’s wife in your life?).

Fittingly, Goran will be chowing down on a homewrecker.

Dante Cunningham

Last but not least, Dante Cunningham of Villanova. Since the second half of their first round game against American, Villanova has been playing the best basketball in the tournament. Seeding aside, in my opinion, they’re the hottest team going into this Final Four and will probably have to maintain that hotness to win this thing.

So, if Nova cuts down the nets Cunningham will be dining on…the taco town taco.

Which may look like your conventional crunchy beef taco wrapped in a soft flour tortilla wrapped in a corn tortilla baked in a corn husk wrapped in a crepe all wrapped in a chicago-style deep dish pizza wrapped in a blueberry pancake… but this particular iteration includes a piping hot, spicy vegetarian chili dipping sauce.

….
By the way, did I mention I’m in first overall (out of roughly 65 ) in Intentional Foul’s NCAA Tourney Pool where the winner receives a Bacon Explosion! Stick that one in your pita, Flay!

Enjoy the games!