That’s Scott Smith. He looks like your average white nerd, especially posing with Muhammad Ali. He’s also the Lil Wayne of sports memorabilia collecting, because I can’t tell if he’s a genius or certifiably insane.

Found on Ebay: 10,000+ signed Sports Illustrated Magazines. Starting bid: $1,999,999.

According to his website, SIkingcollection.com, In 1973, Smith’s grandmother gave him his first subscription to SI, and he’s saved every week’s issue since. In 1982, he staked out a hotel and Wayne Gretzky to sign several copies of SI. Shortly thereafter, he found himself traveling seven days a week to track down coaches, athletes and swimsuit models to sign copies of the mag. And away we go…

Scott started buying complete runs of the magazine dating back to their first issue in 1954. By his count, he’s gotten 2434 SI covers signed - 94.2% of the history of the magazine. The crew he assembled to make this happen include characters like Ace Marchant, his main magazine supplier of 20 years, who barters magazines for autographs (no money has ever exchanged hands between the two). Or Michelle X, his secret weapon…

Smith brings her along when he’s “crashing a banquet” to procure a Hancock.

Just look at her. Need I say more? When I can’t get Lance Armstrong, she gets 2. When Roger Clemens saw her, he crumbled like a little girl and signed 5 in a row. Patrick Ewing didn’t stand a chance. Michelle’s lined up to do the Heisman, Baseball Assistance Team, Boys Club, College Football HOF, Mets & Yankees Welcome Home Dinners. I’ll be more than happy to lend her out to any collector that ponies up the money! She ain’t cheap and neither is my lender fee! Her services as an aggressive collector are well worth it.

Question is now, does the high roller out there exist who’s willing to help Scott hit paydirt and take this monstrosity off his hands?

Find out more at SIkingcollection.com.