To the writer(s) behind Busey’s latest maniacal exploits, I commend you. In fact, I’d enjoy knowing who was behind this, and picking their brain; Who are you? Do you credit Not Gary Busey on Twitter as a source of inspiration? Have you seen Point Break 25 times? Do you feel that Busey’s character, FBI agent Angelo Pappas, carries the first act of Point Break, like I do?
You know you’re poor at Fantasy Football when your team’s most harrowing performance of the year comes from a middling running back in Week 15 of the NFL Season, or as far as your fantasy team is concerned – the second round robin round of the consolation ladder. Also, you left this player on your bench (where he belonged for most of the season).
Mostly underwhelming all year, Jerome Harrison was truly unstoppable yesterday in the Browns’ win over Kansas City, grabbing 286 rushing yards and three touchdowns. Even more impressive, he shattered Jim Brown’s previous team record of 237 yds. Most impressive, that’s 52 fantasy points. As such, a performance of this magnitude can’t help but make me question: undrafted keeper in 2010?
Conflicted isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind.
On September 14, 2009, the great Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer and passed away too young at the age of 57. Swayze had a prolific acting career, one that inspired his devoted fan base to believe that if anyone could beat this disease it was him (Swayze played a bank robbing surf ninja and villainous sky diving enthusiast in Point Break. Cancer? No problem, compadre). He was diagnosed in January of 2008 with a sickness that most people will succumb to in under a year – he held on for 20+ months. During that time period, his 1989 film Road House was the most broadcast movie on American television in the past year according to Rolling Stone – airing 45 times on AMC, A&E and CMT. Maybe you were lucky enough to flip it on and catch a riveting scene like this…
In lieu of burying Swayze with Dalton’s medical dossier, each week during football season I’ll be awarding one player the “Pain Don’t Hurt” Award to honor Swayze’s memory. This week’s recipient…
If you haven’t figured it out yet, the PDH committee is heavily influenced by the fantasy implications of a player’s performance. So, save your defensive nominees, and anyone on the St. Louis Rams, for the comments.
Specifically, I’m influenced by it. And it’s primarily the players who’ve negatively impacted my 2009-10 fantasy campaign that I’m paying attention to. This week, enter Rashard Mendenhall, who one week ago was an underachieving second year running back, not to mention newly benched.
After Gore went down and I need to sure-up at RB, I made a deal to get Tim Hightower that included Mendenhall. Two weeks go by, and Mendenhall goes from sleeper pick to trade afterthought in my mind. Then, as I’m thinking that acquiring Trent Edwards was the most unfortunate occurrence of inking that deal, what does Mendenhall do? Run’s like the wind personified against the Chargers.
165 yards, 2 TDs. That’s more rushing yards than anyone else in the league this past Sunday.
Not like I could have used that to off-set the 36 points that San Francisco’s DEFENSE put up against my team or anything. If they’re at all aware of Fantasy, I bet Gore and Mike Singletary are both laughing their ass off about that. I take back every nice thing I said about your lobster bisque and Del Taco fast food eatery, San Francisco.
Put it to you like this: I just picked up Maurice Morris and Jerome Harrison, and they’re both in my starting line-up for Sunday.
That’s after I was unable to pick up Ladell Betts off the waiver wire.
And in the interest of full disclosure, to make room on the roster, I dropped Zach Miller to pick up Maurice (who I opted for over Sammy Morris, in fact) and Earnest P-Funk Graham to pick up Jerome. Which means it took me this long to get rid of both those guys.
However, I’m 3-0, Jack. With a win coming last week off some powerful performances from Gore (0 points), Trent Edward (2 points) and Tim Hightower (0 points). This, as I see it, is indicative of only one thing – that other people in my league are being forced to promote even bigger schlubs than the roster I just laid out in front of you.
In the interest of self pity in a group environment, I invite you to leave your #1 doofus currently in your fantasy starting line-up in the comments…
Preferably players you’ve been forced to pick-up, but this forum is also willing to comfort those plagued by bad drafting (doofuses like Delhomme, Tomlinson).
SIDEBAR: Earnest Graham looking dapper in a tan suit, standing next to a graffiti’d out train on what appears to be a stormy day. Something to ponder.
