Archive for the ‘if you had money’ Category

Recession Got You Down? Enjoy These Sweet Rhymes

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

I’ll start with three broad truths: a) the economic recession sucks; 1) the political climate sucks; and 3) the recovery effort, from what we can tell, sort of sucks. But how bad does it suck? We aren’t sure.

A lot of Americans are angry right now, and the vast majority of that anger is directed at the federal government. I’m not just talking about tea partiers, birthers, and neo-McCarthyists who see the imminent threat of socialism, Marxism, and totalitarianism (all of which, they fail to realize, are different, albeit cloesly related, things) in every one of President Obama’s legislative proposals (a brief interlude: can we say President Obama and not “Barack” or “Obama” or “the Barackster? I spent 8 years referring to President Bush as just that out of respect for the office. This isn’t your hip high school social studies teacher). American are angry because they fear that the United States has totally bungled the recovery effort. We had a $787 billion dollar stimulus package, with another multi-billion dollar jobs package on the way, regular citizens have no idea if their tax dollars are going to work or not. China recovered, Germany recovered, even the British aren’t doing so bad anymore. People are mad because the economy isn’t getting better, and they have no idea whether this spending is even helping at all.

If you’re like Time’s Joe Klein (the inspiration behind this post), the problem is simple: Americans are too dumb to thrive. Unfortunately for Klein, Americans don’t like being called stupid: it smacks of elitism, which NOBODY appreciates, and summons visions of President Obama’s “clinging to guns and religion” gaffe from the 2008 campaign.

However, there’s a point to be taken from Klein’s snootiness. All too often, voters go to the polls without a solid understanding of the economic and social ills facing out country; they prefer to vote based on “who they’d rather have a beer with” (poor Mitt Romney) or who their peers are voting for. Some civic education in high school that teaches students the inner workings of the federal government, the Constitution, and the American economy (and I do NOT mean the basic American history classes we all have to take) would be welcome. I’m not agreeing with Klein that Americans are stupid: I’m agreeing with the idea that regular citizens with everyday concerns do not have the time to become an expert on American politics. It’s tedious, complex, and all-too often EXTREMELY boring (there’s nothing sexy about the Congressional Budget Office and the other thousand federal agencies trying to tackle the clusterfuck that is our economy).

When it comes to economic issues, this is certainly true. Very few people understand what the hell a liquidity trap is or how capital markets work, nor do they want to hear their government tell them “they just don’t understand” and then explain in an impossible manner. Even deficit spending, the single biggest silver bullet to the Great Depression, seems dubious now. Hence, most people get outraged over Obama’s spending freeze, stimulus packages that inherently add to the deficit, and other aspects of the recovery effort without really understanding WHY these measures are going forward I the first place. A lack of understanding produces uncertainty, uncertainty produces fear, and fear is the fuel for batshit-crazy TV pundits and talking heads like Glenn Beck.

To summarize: people are angry because they don’t know what the hell is going on with the economy, and they’re angry at the federal government for doing a horrible job explaining how our tax dollars are supposedly helping. We need things explained to us in a way we can understand. We don’t need Reagan-esq supply and demand charts…

Sexy supply and demand charts Ronald...but wtf is stagflation?

Sexy supply and demand charts Ronald...but wtf is stagflation?

… and we don’t need President Obama to explain how the stimulus works at the State of the Union. We need a basic understanding of the fundamentally opposed views on how to save the economy. We need to know: why do recessions happen, and what should the federal government do to get us back on track? Of course, there are opposing views, but how do we understand their intricacies outside the context of an econ textbook or cable news name-calling?
In short, we need more videos like this:

Collector selling 10,000+ Sports Illustrated Magazines for $2 Million Dollars

Thursday, October 29th, 2009





That’s Scott Smith. He looks like your average white nerd, especially posing with Muhammad Ali. He’s also the Lil Wayne of sports memorabilia collecting, because I can’t tell if he’s a genius or certifiably insane.

Found on Ebay: 10,000+ signed Sports Illustrated Magazines. Starting bid: $1,999,999.


According to his website, SIkingcollection.com, In 1973, Smith’s grandmother gave him his first subscription to SI, and he’s saved every week’s issue since. In 1982, he staked out a hotel and Wayne Gretzky to sign several copies of SI. Shortly thereafter, he found himself traveling seven days a week to track down coaches, athletes and swimsuit models to sign copies of the mag. And away we go…

Scott started buying complete runs of the magazine dating back to their first issue in 1954. By his count, he’s gotten 2434 SI covers signed - 94.2% of the history of the magazine. The crew he assembled to make this happen include characters like Ace Marchant, his main magazine supplier of 20 years, who barters magazines for autographs (no money has ever exchanged hands between the two). Or Michelle X, his secret weapon…

Smith brings her along when he’s “crashing a banquet” to procure a Hancock.

Just look at her. Need I say more? When I can’t get Lance Armstrong, she gets 2. When Roger Clemens saw her, he crumbled like a little girl and signed 5 in a row. Patrick Ewing didn’t stand a chance. Michelle’s lined up to do the Heisman, Baseball Assistance Team, Boys Club, College Football HOF, Mets & Yankees Welcome Home Dinners. I’ll be more than happy to lend her out to any collector that ponies up the money! She ain’t cheap and neither is my lender fee! Her services as an aggressive collector are well worth it.



Question is now, does the high roller out there exist who’s willing to help Scott hit paydirt and take this monstrosity off his hands?


Find out more at SIkingcollection.com.

Sports radio personality selling off his wacky collection of memorabilia on EBAY

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Everything must go, including a whole mess of lanyards and credentials with his goateed face laminated on them.

Former ESPN broadcaster and Detroit radio personality, Mark Wilson, is leaving town (the state of Michigan, actually). But before he goes, he needs to sell off all the memorabilia his career in sports has afforded him over the years. The stash includes autographed bats, balls, crates of baseball cards, those radio guy jackets that will never go out of style, really old golf clubs and jerseys galore. It’s not all treasure - a replica MVP trophy from the Great Lakes Hockey championship - but there are items like the signed Joe Louis boxing gloves to be had. He’s even got a Charlie O. Finley baseball - the orange ball that Finley tried to replace white Major League baseballs with. Finley also wanted to institute designated runners and a mechanical rabbit that would pop up behind home plate and deliver new balls to the umpire (I digress, but I made up none of that).

Most notably, Wilson was the co-host of the popular Detroit sports-talk radio show Parker & The Man, he was ‘The Man.’ Wilson has also worked as a sports anchor and producer in Houston, Miami and Lansing. Judging by the array of Super bowl gear in his collection- a ceramic football from Super Bowl XL designed by Steve Mariucci? - he was something of a radio row lifer superstar.

Now, say you just wanted the Louis gloves, and maybe a lanyard or two. Well, liquidation stipulation - the whole lot needs to be moved at once and the asking price for the boat is $47 K. The kicker, assuming you live in the state of Michigan,  The Man Wilson will drive all his swag to your house!

And if you talk Motor City Chiefs hockey with him, I’m sure he’ll throw in some heavy lifting too.

(some info c/o of wikipedia)

How Do You Stick a 900 yd. Drive?

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

Tee it up…way up…in the stratosphere.

That was Padraig Harrington and Raphael Jacquelin each letting the big dog eat on the 19th hole at Legend Golf & Safari Club (what a combo!) in South Africa. At 830 meters, it is the longest hole in the World. You can only get to the 430 meter elevated tee box by Helicopter. Anyone who holes one out from up there gets a cool million U.S. dollars.

(H/T to Twistedsifter.com)

Ex-Bull Randy Brown Files Bankruptcy, Selling Championship Rings

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Via SportingHall.com…

The “repeat the three-peat” wins of the NBA finals of ‘96, ‘97, and ‘98 created a cadre of basketball superstars and characters and set the bar at a new high for the next generation of players. Now a little piece of that victory is up on the auction block. In a testament to the far reach of the recession, former Bulls guard and assistant coach to the Sacramento Kings, Randy Brown, has declared bankruptcy, and his three championship rings will be for sale to the highest bidder via online auction at WestAuction.com.

Auction is set to start May 19, bid for a ring starts at $19,000.

Wow, that is truly unfortunate news.

I haven’t worked as hard, and definitely never will, for anything in my life as hard as that guy probably worked to get three NBA titles. Would love to see this story play out where a 90’s era Bulls PR guy or Accounts Payable guy who snagged a ring by being part of the association turns one over to Brown.

Could happen, right? After all, we’ve got 284 people (who presumably weren’t players) selling various Championship rings on Ebay right now. (via SportsCollectorsDaily.com)

This is the year I bring home the bacon!

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

If last year at this time you had told me that next year at this time (which is this time in space right here right now, Will Robinson) I’d be entering an NCAA tournament bracket pool where to the victor went a collection of no less than five variations of pork product, consolidated in edible log/explosion form…man, I’d go ahead and call. You. Wacky. But I’d befriend you immediately.

Fast forward a year later to today, I’d be calling you my fun genie, and offering you the executive fun genie privilege of having your face photoshopped onto one these fun genies pictured below. Because as it would have it, I have indeed found myself to be a registered participant in an NCAA tournament bracket pool where I am competing for the chance to sink my chompers into one of those baconized beast.

If you decide to enter, check out my bracket - it’s called FUN GENIE.

….

Two other unorthodoxed NCAA tournament challenges of note for you to try your hand at:

  • Also worth checking out, The Locker Room Alumni Bracket Contest - a tournament that’s pitting celebrity alumni from the schools in the Mountain West Conference. If for no other reason, go cast a vote Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger (Air Force Alum, duh).

If You Had Money Vol. 1, Ed. 1, Iss. 15

Friday, February 20th, 2009

And the award for shared link of the year goes to…my roommate Goose:

i was thinking we need a secret lair, and i found it: http://tinyurl.com/dbw3ls

Located in sunny Festus, Missouri ( something feels a little off about Festus, Missouri ), I give you the home of Curt and Deborah Sleeper ( again, something feels a little off about Curt Sleeper ).

The Sleepers put their quarry crib up on the market, and it needs to sell in 90-days so that they can pay the previous land owners for the balance owed for the property.

Who’s the previous owner?



Let’s just say that the Sleepers better pay him the balance owed for the property in 90-days.

If You Had Money Vol. 1, Ed. 1, Iss. 14

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

Every thrifty media whore out there would probably agree - why buy these days, when you can market?

I was hoping that the Tour of Battenkill meant guided tours of like a British Isle village ransacked by Vikings in the 8th century, preserved in its decrepit state (we could pitch the same people who sponsored the Slayer tour to sign on). Unfortunately, of course it’s for a cycling event instead.

According to the listing, last year’s Tour of Battenkill attracted 1200 racers to the event in Upstate New York, which means if you pony up, you get to be the title sponsor of the largest Pro-Am Cycling Race in America! The fifth annual is being held in April ‘09, when they expect 1500 racers and 20,000+ spectators.

I’d borrow funds from the projected Q3 earnings for SB Media Ventures LLC to cover the $150K, but unfortunately I don’t think a cycling event properly aligns with our rock n’ roll image.

(If You Had Money Archive)

If You Had Money Vol. 1, Ed. 1, Iss. 13

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

You there sir! With $168 williams in your wallet, I’ve got two words for you…

Tattooing. Kit.

I just held my right hand steady for about 15 seconds, so I think I’m qualified to bid on this. And no, I’m not the least bit sketched out that they’re offering free shipping FROM CHINA.

As an aside, if there is any way to search for items being shipped from China that are “kit” related on EBAY, I’d be interested to check out that wacky assortment of goods.

To further quell any reservations you have about picking up this item, bear in mind, there is also tattoo removal available for purchase on Ebay… asking price of $1.5 million.

(If You Had Money Archive)

If You Had Money Vol. 1, Ed. 1, Iss. 12

Monday, December 29th, 2008

Because of the holidays, I slept on this post last week (most of you were probably getting your nog on as well). Fret not jerks, I got something for ya…

Looking to cruise the links in style, or maybe you just need something to go with that new Houndstooth jacket from St. Nick?

That’s the Boyd Coddington Smoothster right there. Don’t be fooled by the waspy name; Boyd is actually a legendary custom car designer, and the former host of American Hot Rod on the Discovery Channel. His most famous creation is the CadZZilla.

Presumably, he built a golf cart because Boyd does whatever Boyd damn well wants when it comes to four wheels. R.I.P., B.C.