Earlier I was reading the Washington Post’s latest on the Gilbert Arenas- Javarus Crittenton Mexican standoff, a.k.a. the sports story of the year. It’s a must read, very quotatious.

The Post is now reporting that the dispute began during a card game between Crittenton and JaVale McGee. Arenas was simply heckling Crittenton, who’s apparently not exactly the Teddy KGB of team bus hustling.

The dispute between Arenas and Crittenton began on the team plane during a popular card game between players called “Boo-ray.” Crittenton lost roughly $1,100 to JaVale McGee, a Wizards center, in the game, according to a player who watched the game and who also spoke on condition of anonymity. Crittenton, already angry over a dispute over the game’s rules, became irate when Arenas began needling him.


Their barbs escalated to a point where Arenas, smiling, said he would blow up Crittenton’s car, according to two players on the flight, who requested anonymity. Crittenton replied that he would shoot Arenas in his surgically repaired knee.

After reading this, I felt compelled to check out the rules of Boo-Ray, popular in Louisiana and seemingly a great way to piss away your bankroll. To give a quick and dirty explanation, first, each player is dealt three cards, then you go around the table and each player can decide to pass or play. Everyone antes a chip before the deal and regardless of whether or not they decide to play. If you pass, you’re out for the duration of that deal. If you elect to play, you can discard any of your cards and be dealt new ones.

When the game starts, the player to the left of the dealer selects the trump suit. Whoever plays the highest trump at the end of the hand wins the trick and gets to pick trump for the next pass. Once all the players have played three cards, the game ends and the player who took the most tricks wins the pot.

Now, the kicker, any player who won no tricks is said to be the “boo-ray,” which was initially meant to reference something like a borro or a donkey; those Cajuns put their own little flavor on the name. You’re considered the donkey because before the next game the boo-ray has to ante the equivalent of the last pot. So say you started playing with seven players, for the second deal, the boo-ray has to ante seven chips while everyone else ante’s one, making the new pot 13 chips. The boo-ray for the hand after that will have to ante 13 chips.

I know that was probably confusing, but I think the key takeaway is that boo ray sounds like it gets wild with pots growing exponentially. Even Charles Barkley was probably like too rich for my debt-ridden blood. However, with only two people it sounds like suited war and not really that interesting. It wouldn’t surprise me if it came out that more players on the bus were involved in the game, strictly from a level of enjoyment perspective. If you want the full run-down of the rules , you can read up on boo-ray here.





Wizards’ Arenas suspended indefinitely as new details emerge in gun incident (Washington Post)
‘Net reaction: Gilbert Arenas’ suspension, troubles (Balls Don’t Lie)

Sent from my man on the inside at the NHL who loves the arrogance of the subhead. As do I.

That winning streak that was snapped was five straight gold medals by the Canadians, or by my calculations, nearly 30 straight wins in World Championship competition.

Oh, did I forget to mention this momentous feat happened yesterday? Some of the hockey community is pretty enraged that we didn’t pay more attention to this. Personally, I’m surprised we didn’t get a plug for the junior team from the 1980’s Olympic heroes during the Winter Classic last weekend - you’d think Eruzione and friends would take an interest in a bunch of 20-somethings taking out a powerhouse in dramatic fashion. I guess there wasn’t time during the segment…possibly because they had to clear up the fact that the game against the Soviets wasn’t actually the gold medal game.

Regardless, hats off and reign victorious to John Carlson, pictured above scoring the game winner in OT, and the rest of the U.S.A. Juniors. The Steady Burn nation commends you.

USA beats Canada for gold at the 2010 World Junior Hockey Championships (Raw Charge)

Just saying, it’d be a lot cooler if he had.

And with that sarcastic slight, here’s links to all the best CJ posts percolating in the blogs today:

Chris Johnson 2006 = MVP? (Intentional Foul)
Chris Johnson And Usain Bolt Want To Race Each Other (No Guts, No Glory)
Chris Johnson’s 2009: Best ever season by a running back? (The Shutdown Corner)
A Cheetah, Chris Johnson, and Usain Bolt: Who Ya Got? (SB Nation)
Chris Johnson Tops 2,000 Yards Rushing (Fanhouse)

What are you most anticipating? Adam Schefter’s follow-up report or Ochocinco’s follow-up Twitter press conference concerning Usain Bolt.

Does information from “a source close to the band” constitute what exactly? A substantiated rumor? What’s code here? If the source is legit, then soon enough I suspect we’ll hear the brutal truth that the oft-conflicted by stardom John Frusciante has indeed left the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

The rumors started percolating yesterday in the blogs that Frusciante is no longer with the band and would be replaced by the enigmatic Josh Klinghoffer, oddly enough someone who’s most notable for his collaboration with Frusciante. As recently as a few hours ago, however, the headlines still read Frusciante Quits Chili Peppers?

All speculation aside, for those interested in a deeper dive into who exactly Josh Klinghoffer is, he’s got stats. Along with playing with Frusciante - including the two recording an album together, A Sphere in the Heart of Silence - Klinghoffer has been linked to records and tours with Beck, Butthole Surfers, Gnarls Barkley and PJ Harvey to name a few. Him and Frusciante also hooked up with John Lally from Fugazi to record two albums under the name Ataxia.*

If you want to get real granular with your rock analysis, he’s got that thin, disheveled weirdo look down pat, which bodes best for fitting in RHCP; see Frusciante, Hillel Slovak. (DN, sorry hombre.)

We’ll have to wait for something hard confirmed from the band before writing this one in stone - maybe a good opportunity for Flea or Kiedis to sign up for Twitter? Until then, check out some videos below from Klinghoffer’s body of work and check out the madness that this guy would be bringing to the table.

Josh Klinghoffer w/ John Frusciante Live in San Diego

Red Hot Chili Peppers “This Velvet Grove” (Klinghoffer on second guitar)

Butthole Surfers “Dracula From Houston” (Klinghoffer on guitar)

The Bicycle Thief “Hurt” (Klinghoffer on lead acoustic axe)

Ataxia - The Sides

John Frusciante Makes A Predicted Departure (Antiquiet)

*Some information found via Wikipedia

Big day for us here at Steady Burn as I’m pleased to announce the addition of a new writer to the mix. He’s based out of Jacksonville, FL and goes by the name S. Evans. Why the quasi-anonymity with the moniker? To protect familial ties to the Bob Evans homestyle cuisine fortune is my guess. Frankly, I thought his name was Sean (it’s not) for about six months now, so I’m paying it no nevermind. Here’s some background information courtesy of the masked man himself…

Hailing from a lil place called Jacksonville, Fl, the name is S. Evans

The vitals:

• Creator of the center of excellence that is No Guts, No Glory. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. You haven’t? Boy are you lost.

• I’m a Libra, if that helps.

• Known to be a smooth operator so you have nothing to worry about. You’re in good hands.

• Mike doesn’t even know my name, so you know that I will fit in nicely around here.

Above all, I vow to keep the burn steady. Whatever that means.

Hope this is as good for you as it will be for me.

Managed to link to a Sade video, put me on blast for not knowing his name, as well as reaffirm the fact that so few people get the name Steady Burn (it has nothing to do with smoking weed, and everything to do with basketball playing time) - this guy’s a wildcat. Enjoy the additional posting from S.E., a.k.a. the Southern Gentleman, friends.

We’re moving offices tomorrow. My day job, that is. The Steady Burn offices remain intact - we’re going to do a few more rounds of funding before we explore further capital gains, probably after we see if the world exists after 2012.

On the short list of wants for my new office is one of those Nerf basketball hoops that you hang over the door. Something subtle like this…

I figure it will impress my clients, as well as make the Fresh Direct delivery guys want to be me. While I peruse e-commerce for the perfect hoop, check out these Top 8 Moments in Nerf Basketball History…

Nerf Basketball Dunk Contest

Amazing No-Look Shot

Trick Shots feat. Basketball Jones and John Cena

My Dad is the Nerf King

Meet The Nerf Kings

Revenge!

Nerf Basketball Dunk Contest, The Sequel

Nerf Basketball Mix Tape

Leave more suggestions for ways I can heighten the new office aesthetic in the comments.

Fisherman and futures trader Dave Lamoureux has a taste for danger - a danger he prefers to be served pan seared.

Lamoureux is essentially a big game sportsman, and his favored hunt - enormous tuna fish. Unlike the commercial tuna fisherman, with their big boats and harpoon wielding, Lamoureux prefers a line, a fishing pole, and the comforts of a recreational kayak that he modified in garage. Recently, according to the New York Times, Lamoureux’s and his one-man fiberglass vessel hauled in a 157-pound bluefin tuna, a record for a solo kayak tuna fisherman.

His most recent catch, on Nov. 5, was a 157-pound bluefin, a record tuna for an unassisted kayak fisherman, and a near record over all, topped only by a 183-pound halibut caught by Howard McKim, an Alaskan, in 2004. Reeling in a halibut, though, has been likened to hauling in a load of plywood, and some of Lamoureux’s admirers consider landing a bluefin, known for its power and ferocity, the greater feat. He is a hero at bait shops up and down Cape Cod. On fishing blogs, a few grumblers call him a dangerous idiot.

Lamoureax told the Times that when you hook one of these mothers it’s “sort of like a raging bull” - as the tuna will tow the kayak around until the fish expires from exhaustion. It can take hours for a bluefin to give. Here’s an idea of what it takes to reel one of these beasts in…

Lamoureax and his kayak, named Fortitude, will look to up the ante as he continues his quest, splitting time between his home in Chicago and the fishing waters off the coast of Cape Cod. Someday he hopes to one day push that record weight to 300-400 lbs.

I’d suggest a record tuna casserole bake-off at the local rod & gun for the locals in the community when that happen.
Catching Tuna and Hanging On for the Ride (New York Times)

(Photo via NYT)

A team of crack geniuses from the blog No Mas produced an animated short about the no-hitter that Dock Ellis threw while trippin’ on acid. The audio is taken from an interview Ellis conducted with writer Donnell Alexander.

100 H/Tees to my man @AsilentFlute for sending this to me, because it is just so great.

One time I covered first base, and I caught the ball and tagged the base all in one motion. I said, “OOH, I just made a touchdown.”

Around the age of nine, I was looking to make some extra scratch. I’d just come off a failed scheme of trying to sell superballs made out of play doh - they were more ornamental than bouncy, mainly because play doh don’t bounce. For my new business venture, I decided to gut a bunch of my Sports Illustrated for Kids magazines so I could sell the individual glossy pictures of the athletes. I went at the books with a pair of scissors cutting out all the mid-nineties stars and pasting their likenesses onto construction paper - I was destined to be as lucrative as say the person(s) who patented play doh or the 1000 sheet assortment pack of construction paper.

I sold one. And only because my mom, like most women in the early 90’s, had a real live thing for Andre Agassi.

Why am I telling you about this misadventure in childhood capitalism? (Especially, since I was obviously destined for such lucrativeness later in life.) I wanted to convey how hard it’s going to be to break the news about Andre’s hair weave to my mom. It’d be easier for everyone involved if she watched 60 Minutes last night and had already been shattered by this coming out.

Now that the hidden truth behind Andre’s scalp has been Couric’d, those of you who are going to need to cope by remembering Agassi’s coif in its age of innocence, I suggest the antidote that is his commercial work from the early 90’s. I’ve embedded my Top-5 Agassi pitch moments from the 90’s below - surprise, they’re all for Nike and the Canon Rebel. Apologies if the few ads where he appears with a shaved head in the mid-90s are too much for some to bear.

“Image is Everything”

The Rules of Golf

Agassi’s Rock n’ Roll Tennis Camp

Change?

Agassi vs. Sampras, Street Tennis

Special consideration to The Wade Blog, check out their Top-10 Agassi Commercials here.