After showing restraint for about 24-hours, I tried the Colonel’s new Double Down today. It’s something alright.

I hit the streets, along with blogger and appreciator of fast food innovation Brian Ries (Free Williamsburg, NBC). Good thing. Because after finishing just 80% of that sandwich, I think I blacked out on the walk back to the office, and may be still wandering around Union Square in a food coma if he wasn’t there to help guide me back.

We made it though. And the short review is we’re in agreement that everyone should try this once. Once only. Frankly, I don’t know if I want to meet the lunatic who eats two of these…or seven.

Here are five things you need to know before you eat the KFC Double Down:

Don’t rely on the wrapper

As advertised, in lieu of bread, KFC serves this in a wrapper. It’s supposed to be for the sake of decorum I assume – so you’re not just holding two pieces of fried chicken like a heathen. However, be prepared for cheese and grease to envelop the wax paper. Also, don’t wring it out when you’re done, you’ll hate yourself more.

Wait the allotted five minutes between bites

And furthermore, if it’s served to you piping hot like ours were, wait five minutes before you take that first bite.

Five minutes between bites may seem a little ridiculous. Well, Ries took two bites back-to-back and started imagining that the two filets once knew each other as chickens and had a conversation about ending up as a sandwich…the point is, eat this thing at a snail’s pace.

No need to get the combo

As they’ll tend to do, potato wedges and Dr. Pepper aren’t going to make this less of an arduous task.

Where does this rank on the fast-food chicken sandwich scale?

I’d rank it higher than the McDonald’s Premium Crispy Chicken Club, but far lower than the Wendy’s Spicy Chicken. The Double Down’s best attribute is the Colonel’s sauce, which has a little zip and you’re not going to find on any other sandwich on the market.

Post-DD heartburn scenario

I cheated. I had a Tum’s before I even had a single bite. It’s called fear.

Approximately 1:00 after consuming Ries’ state is such: “At first we were at zero, now we’re at a 3.5. I predict things going South from here.”

I don’t think South means back towards zero.

Check out Brian Ries’ review of the KFC Double Down on NBCNewYork.com

KFC Double Down

I’ll give him credit, sometimes Jeremy Shockey does use Facebook to make a meaningful and positive connection with his fans, and I’m sure his 60,000+ Facebook followers appreciate the effort. Of course, other times he uses Facebook to:

A.) Speak in code (“Cngrts to mickelson.. good 1st tourny back for tiger”)

B.) Play with young girls hearts

Here’s that wall post from Friday that’s both stirring up conversation and embarrassing videos alike:

Ok LADIES heres the contest.. Post a video on the “just fans” section of my fbk fan page explaining why u deserve to have me take u on a date 1 nite this offseason… Contest ends sun night 4/18 at 8pm est… Lets have fun w this so be creative but just be careful its not too inappropriate where fbk deletes it!! good luck!!!

So far, of those 60,000 fans but three ladies have taken him up on this and posted videos. Two are almost unwatchable. The third is :18 seconds of a woman snowboarding in a bikini. She never actually defines herself as a contest entry. She might just be crazy.

With encouragement starting to trickle out from the bloggers – MJD writes, “Good luck, too, to the father out there who receives the following phone call: “Daddy, guess what?! I just won an internet contest to go out on a date with Jeremy Shockey!” – entries should start to pick up.

Become a fan of Shockey on Facebook here, ladies: http://www.facebook.com/Shockey

After consecutive days/months aplenty, Justin Bieber is expelled from trending topics (at least for a minute) thanks to Easter.



Back up in yo’ ass with the resurrection, Bieber.



Yes. I do now that it’s only hardly appropriate b/c of that first bar.



Happy Easter.

So many more guns than your school’s rendition of Fiddler On The Roof.

And with that round of applause I think we can crown this spoof of the day.

H/T to @melfi

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! You know the motto: It’s St. Patrick’s Day, Eat Corned Beef Responsibly (Drink Egregiously)

Personally, I’m good with just corned beef, stone-ground mustard on a bread roll, but here are ten choice looking corned beef sandwiches to get you in the spirit.

Corned Beef Coleslaw With Avocado on Demi Baguette Sandwich


Corned Beef Biscuit Sandwiches


Mustard-stout glazed corned beef topped with aged cheddar and cabbage, red pepper and tarragon slaw served on a toasted onion roll



Benjie’s New York Deli-Corned Beef Sandwich (w/ Cole Slaw and Russian Dressing on Rye)


Katz’s Deli (NYC) Corned Beef Sandwich


Corned beef Reuben on dark rye



Corned Beef at the Carnegie Deli


Corned beef on rye with a sizable portion of mustard


Corned beef brisket, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese, smoked-bacon mayonnaise, served on dark rye bread


The Woody Allen (Carnegie Deli)

Earlier I was reading the Washington Post’s latest on the Gilbert Arenas- Javarus Crittenton Mexican standoff, a.k.a. the sports story of the year. It’s a must read, very quotatious.

The Post is now reporting that the dispute began during a card game between Crittenton and JaVale McGee. Arenas was simply heckling Crittenton, who’s apparently not exactly the Teddy KGB of team bus hustling.

The dispute between Arenas and Crittenton began on the team plane during a popular card game between players called “Boo-ray.” Crittenton lost roughly $1,100 to JaVale McGee, a Wizards center, in the game, according to a player who watched the game and who also spoke on condition of anonymity. Crittenton, already angry over a dispute over the game’s rules, became irate when Arenas began needling him.


Their barbs escalated to a point where Arenas, smiling, said he would blow up Crittenton’s car, according to two players on the flight, who requested anonymity. Crittenton replied that he would shoot Arenas in his surgically repaired knee.

After reading this, I felt compelled to check out the rules of Boo-Ray, popular in Louisiana and seemingly a great way to piss away your bankroll. To give a quick and dirty explanation, first, each player is dealt three cards, then you go around the table and each player can decide to pass or play. Everyone antes a chip before the deal and regardless of whether or not they decide to play. If you pass, you’re out for the duration of that deal. If you elect to play, you can discard any of your cards and be dealt new ones.

When the game starts, the player to the left of the dealer selects the trump suit. Whoever plays the highest trump at the end of the hand wins the trick and gets to pick trump for the next pass. Once all the players have played three cards, the game ends and the player who took the most tricks wins the pot.

Now, the kicker, any player who won no tricks is said to be the “boo-ray,” which was initially meant to reference something like a borro or a donkey; those Cajuns put their own little flavor on the name. You’re considered the donkey because before the next game the boo-ray has to ante the equivalent of the last pot. So say you started playing with seven players, for the second deal, the boo-ray has to ante seven chips while everyone else ante’s one, making the new pot 13 chips. The boo-ray for the hand after that will have to ante 13 chips.

I know that was probably confusing, but I think the key takeaway is that boo ray sounds like it gets wild with pots growing exponentially. Even Charles Barkley was probably like too rich for my debt-ridden blood. However, with only two people it sounds like suited war and not really that interesting. It wouldn’t surprise me if it came out that more players on the bus were involved in the game, strictly from a level of enjoyment perspective. If you want the full run-down of the rules , you can read up on boo-ray here.





Wizards’ Arenas suspended indefinitely as new details emerge in gun incident (Washington Post)
‘Net reaction: Gilbert Arenas’ suspension, troubles (Balls Don’t Lie)

Sent from my man on the inside at the NHL who loves the arrogance of the subhead. As do I.

That winning streak that was snapped was five straight gold medals by the Canadians, or by my calculations, nearly 30 straight wins in World Championship competition.

Oh, did I forget to mention this momentous feat happened yesterday? Some of the hockey community is pretty enraged that we didn’t pay more attention to this. Personally, I’m surprised we didn’t get a plug for the junior team from the 1980′s Olympic heroes during the Winter Classic last weekend – you’d think Eruzione and friends would take an interest in a bunch of 20-somethings taking out a powerhouse in dramatic fashion. I guess there wasn’t time during the segment…possibly because they had to clear up the fact that the game against the Soviets wasn’t actually the gold medal game.

Regardless, hats off and reign victorious to John Carlson, pictured above scoring the game winner in OT, and the rest of the U.S.A. Juniors. The Steady Burn nation commends you.

USA beats Canada for gold at the 2010 World Junior Hockey Championships (Raw Charge)

Just saying, it’d be a lot cooler if he had.

And with that sarcastic slight, here’s links to all the best CJ posts percolating in the blogs today:

Chris Johnson 2006 = MVP? (Intentional Foul)
Chris Johnson And Usain Bolt Want To Race Each Other (No Guts, No Glory)
Chris Johnson’s 2009: Best ever season by a running back? (The Shutdown Corner)
A Cheetah, Chris Johnson, and Usain Bolt: Who Ya Got? (SB Nation)
Chris Johnson Tops 2,000 Yards Rushing (Fanhouse)

What are you most anticipating? Adam Schefter’s follow-up report or Ochocinco’s follow-up Twitter press conference concerning Usain Bolt.

Does information from “a source close to the band” constitute what exactly? A substantiated rumor? What’s code here? If the source is legit, then soon enough I suspect we’ll hear the brutal truth that the oft-conflicted by stardom John Frusciante has indeed left the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

The rumors started percolating yesterday in the blogs that Frusciante is no longer with the band and would be replaced by the enigmatic Josh Klinghoffer, oddly enough someone who’s most notable for his collaboration with Frusciante. As recently as a few hours ago, however, the headlines still read Frusciante Quits Chili Peppers?

All speculation aside, for those interested in a deeper dive into who exactly Josh Klinghoffer is, he’s got stats. Along with playing with Frusciante – including the two recording an album together, A Sphere in the Heart of Silence – Klinghoffer has been linked to records and tours with Beck, Butthole Surfers, Gnarls Barkley and PJ Harvey to name a few. Him and Frusciante also hooked up with John Lally from Fugazi to record two albums under the name Ataxia.*

If you want to get real granular with your rock analysis, he’s got that thin, disheveled weirdo look down pat, which bodes best for fitting in RHCP; see Frusciante, Hillel Slovak. (DN, sorry hombre.)

We’ll have to wait for something hard confirmed from the band before writing this one in stone – maybe a good opportunity for Flea or Kiedis to sign up for Twitter? Until then, check out some videos below from Klinghoffer’s body of work and check out the madness that this guy would be bringing to the table.

Josh Klinghoffer w/ John Frusciante Live in San Diego

Red Hot Chili Peppers “This Velvet Grove” (Klinghoffer on second guitar)

Butthole Surfers “Dracula From Houston” (Klinghoffer on guitar)

The Bicycle Thief “Hurt” (Klinghoffer on lead acoustic axe)

Ataxia – The Sides

John Frusciante Makes A Predicted Departure (Antiquiet)

*Some information found via Wikipedia