Take it from someone who peruses frequently – there is never a shortage of asinine behavior happening on the sporting goods and sports memorabilia listings on Ebay. Take for instance, this joker, who’d ideally like you to pay $14 million dollars for an autographed pair of A-rod turf spikes. Or, if that’s too rich for your wallet, there’s a guy in Dallas who will sell you a two-field baseball complex for the Ebay buy-it-now price of $425,000.

Not far down the list from those featured items, you’ll find a serviceman from Fort Bragg, NC who, for the all-in price of $50,000 will sell you his arm - specifically, the space on it to buy advertising. This may well fit the profile of yet another dimwitted attempt at auctioneering, but at least hear this guy out…

I am trying to sell space on my arm, the complete and full arm. I have been having some small financial issues and I am really in need of some funds to help out my family and eliminate a few debts that have accumulated. My vehicle is running into the ground and I don’t make enough nor do I have the credit to just get one and start new. Please take this into consideration when reviewing this listing. I travel alot because of my job and I see many many people in many different places all over the country. But what I’m trying to accomplish here  is to just raise a little money to help out my wife and my son with a little better of a life other than living from paycheck to paycheck every month.


The buy it now is what I’m asking for the entire arm covered in your own personal art advertising your business. This is what I wish to obtain for the entire arm, total. So if you want the entire arm then we are gonna have to talk along the BUY IT NOW price. If you don’t want the entire arm, but just a portion of my arm, then email with any questions and we can quite possibly work something out about certain areas. The only thing that I ask is for you to be respectful, I WILL NOT TATTOO ANYTHING THAT IS RACIST, GANG RELATED, OR COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL TO INDIVIDUALS OR ANY NATION ESPECIALLY OURS. I am in the Army and I do have regulations that I have to adhere by, also being in the Army allows for mass advertisement. Every time someone you know gets new ink it is always the talk of the town. Please if you are interested send me a message and we will talk about specifics. Thank you and happy bidding or buying.

The only other hard facts we know about this guy is that the person who posted this, presumably his wife, goes by armywife8606 – and she’s received a 100% customer satisfaction rating on ebay. That, and the $50,000 is pretty much nonnegotiable if you want the whole arm, but if you only want quote: “a certain measurement of your logo to be plastered on my skin” he’s willing to discuss pricing.

I’ve had a hard time wrapping my head around this guy’s desperation. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s sincere in his extreme measures – assuming such, doesn’t $50,000 for a permanent advertisement seem a little low? This is the age-old problem with buying online and ebay specifically, it’s hard to get the full-story on what you’re bidding on.

This is probably as good an example of a misuse of an e-commerce website as someone trying to sell a baseball diamond. And unfortunately, I believe that the likelihood of arm ads getting sold online is as likely as someone shilling out $15 million for that lipstick wearer’s turf shoes. Still, I won’t call your methods asinine, armywife8606′s husband. Weird, clearly. But regardless, whatever your situation I hope things start looking up for you and your family, and you can take your forearm off ebay.

I just ate a Tic Tac. I knew it was a Tic Tac too.

OK, let me set the record straight, it was actually an Eclipse mint. In my defense, I’m young, stupid, naive, I’m only 24 (note: I’m actually 24, not 26, 27 or 28), and maybe a little hyped up on Winterfresh.

A-Rod speaks: ‘I knew we weren’t taking Tic Tacs’ – USATODAY.com

I’d put Johnny Depp in the top-10 actors of his generation. The guy has come a long way from playing Officer Tom Hanson on 21 Jump Street (that dangling earring. regrettable for Depp, I’m sure), and has shown versatility and longevity on the silver screen. However, when it comes to playing crazy people, Depp is in a class unto himself. Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka, Ichabod Crane, Ed Wood, Ed Scissorhands – all certifiable. You give him a character with any sort of twitch, and Depp will give a smashing performance. Looking back, he’s been a rum swigging swashbuckler, a opium induced inspector (don’t see From Hell if you can help it), a slasher barber – it makes me wonder, why should sports star be the exception?

Hence, that is why I posed the question to sports blog intelligentsia: Which Athlete Should Johnny Depp Play in a Movie?

The creme appears below, with a poll daddy guy at the bottom for you to cast a vote. Anyone interested in participating in one of my weekly polling exercise, email me here.

My personal submission for this: McEnroe. The film will span Johnny Mac’s entire career, and then some – ending with that awkward hug he gave Federer after he lost Wimbledon last year. Federer will be played by the kid from that Twilight thing or somebody, BUT, more importantly Rafa will be played by Benicio, and the deleted scenes will include Depp and him driving through the desert in a ballbuster on the way to Vegas, hyped on mescaline.

…And just because they already made that movie, doesn’t mean we can’t do it again, because McEnroe actually did stuff like this. Now he just makes totally ridiculous commercials…

Here’s the best of the rest…

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