Take it from someone who peruses frequently - there is never a shortage of asinine behavior happening on the sporting goods and sports memorabilia listings on Ebay. Take for instance, this joker, who’d ideally like you to pay $14 million dollars for an autographed pair of A-rod turf spikes. Or, if that’s too rich for your wallet, there’s a guy in Dallas who will sell you a two-field baseball complex for the Ebay buy-it-now price of $425,000.

Not far down the list from those featured items, you’ll find a serviceman from Fort Bragg, NC who, for the all-in price of $50,000 will sell you his arm - specifically, the space on it to buy advertising. This may well fit the profile of yet another dimwitted attempt at auctioneering, but at least hear this guy out…

I am trying to sell space on my arm, the complete and full arm. I have been having some small financial issues and I am really in need of some funds to help out my family and eliminate a few debts that have accumulated. My vehicle is running into the ground and I don’t make enough nor do I have the credit to just get one and start new. Please take this into consideration when reviewing this listing. I travel alot because of my job and I see many many people in many different places all over the country. But what I’m trying to accomplish here  is to just raise a little money to help out my wife and my son with a little better of a life other than living from paycheck to paycheck every month.


The buy it now is what I’m asking for the entire arm covered in your own personal art advertising your business. This is what I wish to obtain for the entire arm, total. So if you want the entire arm then we are gonna have to talk along the BUY IT NOW price. If you don’t want the entire arm, but just a portion of my arm, then email with any questions and we can quite possibly work something out about certain areas. The only thing that I ask is for you to be respectful, I WILL NOT TATTOO ANYTHING THAT IS RACIST, GANG RELATED, OR COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL TO INDIVIDUALS OR ANY NATION ESPECIALLY OURS. I am in the Army and I do have regulations that I have to adhere by, also being in the Army allows for mass advertisement. Every time someone you know gets new ink it is always the talk of the town. Please if you are interested send me a message and we will talk about specifics. Thank you and happy bidding or buying.

The only other hard facts we know about this guy is that the person who posted this, presumably his wife, goes by armywife8606 - and she’s received a 100% customer satisfaction rating on ebay. That, and the $50,000 is pretty much nonnegotiable if you want the whole arm, but if you only want quote: “a certain measurement of your logo to be plastered on my skin” he’s willing to discuss pricing.

I’ve had a hard time wrapping my head around this guy’s desperation. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s sincere in his extreme measures - assuming such, doesn’t $50,000 for a permanent advertisement seem a little low? This is the age-old problem with buying online and ebay specifically, it’s hard to get the full-story on what you’re bidding on.

This is probably as good an example of a misuse of an e-commerce website as someone trying to sell a baseball diamond. And unfortunately, I believe that the likelihood of arm ads getting sold online is as likely as someone shilling out $15 million for that lipstick wearer’s turf shoes. Still, I won’t call your methods asinine, armywife8606’s husband. Weird, clearly. But regardless, whatever your situation I hope things start looking up for you and your family, and you can take your forearm off ebay.

A team of crack geniuses from the blog No Mas produced an animated short about the no-hitter that Dock Ellis threw while trippin’ on acid. The audio is taken from an interview Ellis conducted with writer Donnell Alexander.

100 H/Tees to my man @AsilentFlute for sending this to me, because it is just so great.

One time I covered first base, and I caught the ball and tagged the base all in one motion. I said, “OOH, I just made a touchdown.”

If the title of this post in anyway comes off as a slight of Gene Autry, or his prowess as a baseball man, then I apologize, and concede to it being cheap humor at that.*

The OC Register and AP report that Gene Autry is amongst this year’s candidates for induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame. The former and original owner of the Angels is part of a special “executives and pioneers” ballot that includes several other team owners as well.

Autry bought the expansion Angels in 1960, persuaded to do so by the management who were impressed by him buying the exclusive radio rights to the team. The OC Register’s Angels blog writes:

Autry was the Angels’ owner from the franchise’s inception in 1961 until his death in 1998, bringing many star players to Anaheim with his willingness to spend (particularly in the early years of free agency) — but only three division titles and no World Series appearances in that time.

The results of the Angels blog poll question: “Should Autry be in the Hall of Fame” are falling resoundingly in his favor.

Autry also served as Vice President of the Amercian League from ‘82 until he died. In ‘92, the Angels retired the #26 in his honor - baseball teams keep a 25-man roster, I think you can figure out why they gave Autry 26.

A 12 person committee of Hall of Famers, baseball writers and current and former executives will vote on the nominees, and the results will be released on Dec. 7. Separate voting and different committees decide the players’ and coaches’ ballots. Funny how it took Gene Autry for me to bother to figure out how Hall-of-Fame voting is decided.

*That disclaimer seemed necessary, given the wide readership of metalheads on this site.

(some information found via Wikipedia)

I haven’t spoken to him yet, but my grandfather - a half-the-year Florida resident and man who has no less than nine sets of lawn darts in his garage - is surely offended by this.

Actually, playing catch at a public park or beach in Clearwater has been banned for a number of years (and yet, the ban on burmese pythons is still under consideration), and now, lawmakers are trying to change it back. As it stands now:

“No person or persons shall engage in rough or potentially dangerous activity such as football, baseball, softball, horseshoes, tennis, volleyball, badminton, or any other organized activity involving thrown or otherwise propelled objects such as balls, stones, arrows, javelins, shuttlecocks, Frisbees, model aircraft or roller skates on any public bathing beach or park property except in areas set aside for that purpose.”

To be fair, it would have been have unjust to only ban bow and arrow.

H/T to Popehat.com, who points out that since they passed this law, badminton-related deaths have dropped dramatically.

In Clearwater, Playing Catch Is Against The Law (cfnews13.com)

The San Francisco Giants and AT&T Park earned the dubious distinction of being labeled the merchants of the priciest brew in the league - $8.75 for a 20 oz. The numbers are according to Team Marketing Report’s Fan Cost Index research, who released their April report this week.

Before we give the Giants too much guff, I think we owe them a little deeper analysis on this. For one thing, Anchor Steam (a San Fran local sold at the park) is legit. And also, I don’t really buy this report.

First off, the beer figures have a footnote attached to them that reads: Team restructured seating categories or made retroactive changes to 2008 prices. Some of the 2008 numbers used do not match up with previously reported figures.

Anyone?

What I can tell you is that the Mets’ price figure that says you pay $5.00 for a 12 oz. is, well, a sick joke (because i’d love to get my hands on a $5 beer at a Mets game). I’ve been to Citi Field five times during the 2009 campaign, and I’ve purchased beer in every possible manner, minus the ritzy V.I.P. bar, which looks like a suite at The Palms resort and casino - I doubt this is where they are hiding the $5 special. I’d wager that Yankee stadium attendees would take similar offense to the assertion that they’re paying $6 for a 12 oz.

I’d say the average Mets beer at Citi floats you about $7. This includes the 16 oz. pounders of Bud and Bud Light, and the wide array of microbrews sold in 12 oz. cans. The 12 oz. domestics you can get up in the stands run $6. If that mumbo jumbo from above is supposed to translate to mean we’re looking at 2008 prices, then it bares noting that actually the prices at Citi Field are on average lower this year than at Shea in 2008 ($7.50 for those 12 oz. Buds). So don’t feel too bad for yourselves, Giants fans, because something is absent here with the numbers.

The Diamondbacks came in with the low number at $4.00 for their beer served in metric 14 oz. cups.

Check out the research, and weigh on your team’s prices. H/T to Joe “10 Cent Beer Night” Kukura at NBCbayarea.com for the report.

Some Staten Island kid tried to James Brown Super Bad-it into second and his mom is $125,000 fatter in the wallet because of it.

In 2004, Martin Gonzalez, 12 at the time, sustained torn ligaments in the knee sliding into second base in a Little League game. Martin needed two surgeries to repair the injury. His mom filed a lawsuit against the league and Little League Baseball Inc., alleging that her son was not taught the proper technique.

Now, five years later - family waited three to file the lawsuit - Little League Baseball has to fork over $125K to his kook of a mom.

Makes me yearn for simpler time of youth sports. I’m pretty sure you could run through the catcher in my Little League day. Everyone got hurt, no one sued, big league chew was legal.

H/T to Gothamist for this.

Staten Island mom settles suit with Little League and coaches over knee injury (Staten Island Advance)

Meet George Spady Jr. He’s neither the father of the year (he enlisted his son, and other youngsters from the Little League team he coached to rob a store), nor that much of a criminal mastermind (he chose to pilfer the overhead lights, and some bolts?)

ARLINGTON — An Arlington Little League coach is accused of showing some of his players how to steal more than second base.

Investigators allege that George Spady Jr. was with his son, a nephew and another player from his baseball team when he broke into a vacant shop and took overhead lights and bolts. The boys were encouraged to assist with the break-in, Snohomish County deputy prosecutor Edirin Okoloko wrote in court documents.

Spady’s like a regular Walter Matthau in The Bad News Bears, only more lawless.

[The boy] told investigators that Spady’s son crawled through a vent on the back side of the shop and unlocked the door for his father. Spady, his son and Spady’s nephew then went inside and came out with light fixtures and some other items, according to court documents.

[The boy] told investigators that Spady yelled at him to go inside and grab more from the shop, and told him to hurry up because he saw a truck drive by, Okoloko wrote.

They don’t say how old the accomplices he coerced are, but Spady Jr. is 31, so I’m guessing 10 (maybe younger??) Geez. I see a restraining order (don’t even come within 200 ft of the snack shack) and “visitation rights, denied” in this guy’s future.

Arlington coach put Little League boys up to burglary, police say (HeraldNet.com)

In a Baltimore Sun article published today where he awkwardly calls former-MLB characters like Bobby Bonilla and David Wells - Mister, Baltimore Oriole Hall-of-Famer Brady Anderson expressed his discontent with Sports Illustrated naming Orioles owner Peter Angelos as The Worst Owner in Baseball.

I find it laughable that someone who has achieved the type of success that enables one to purchase a Major League Baseball team can be casually dismissed by many as a “meddler.” I have never understood this complaint of meddling; he owns the team. Indeed, this idea runs counter to the way that just about every other business in the world is run. I am certain many people would find it odd if their bosses sat by passively and idly as they ran the business anyway they chose (Viewpoint: Angelos doesn’t deserve the bad rap).

Besides meddling, SI most scathingly cites Angelos firing of Davey Johnson (who Anderson says resigned) and the Orioles lack of a post-season appearance the last 11 years as reasons for appointing Angelos as the heaviest head that wears the crown.

Giving the player prospective, Anderson calls Angelos “a compassionate, loyal man who truly cares about the Orioles, the fans, and the people of Baltimore.” He talks about how Angelos would visit his ex-teammate Eric Davis in the hospital and watch Oriole away games with him while he was getting treated for colon cancer. He also hopes that someday the list will be rewritten and will name the best owners in baseball (which it actually does, those five owners have combined for 35 playoff appearance and 9 World Series titles) and we’ll find Angelos at the top of that list (err, .486 winning percentage? Slow down, Mr. 30 Stolen Base Man).


If it’ll make him feel better, blame Zach Greinke for Angelos’ dubious distinction. If not for the first half run by Kansas City this season, there is no doubt, no doubt that David Glass takes the title of Worst Owner. The stats from his tenure are truly offensive (.432 winning percentage, zero post season appearances, four 100 game losing seasons). Of course, the newly rejuvenated K.C. fans took issue with S.I. even having Glass on the short list - wow, you Royal fans have short memories.

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Tower, we’re going to buzz the backstop.





Is it a news report? A talk show? Is it child protection PSA? (Not very likely judging from the picture-in-picture graphic laugh fest). I don’t speak a lick of Japanese.

Playing baseball at an airport (Japan Probe)

I don’t even know Briny Baird, son of Butch Baird, but what a guy! He won the whole damn Country P.F. Changs!

Yesterday, while a whole lot of you were sitting at work dreaming about P.F. Chang’s chicken lettuce wraps, B.B. was atop the Omni Hotel in San Diego staring down at a make-shift bullseye set-up in right field of Petco Park, home of the San Diego Padres.

The task at hand, take ten shots from the 300+ foot elevated tee. If a single one landed in the center of the bullseye, every man and woman alive in America would receive a free P.F. Chang wrap (the kicker: you have to buy a damn entree. RATS!) Additionally, for every bullseye P.F. Chang’s donated $2,000 to the San Diego Navy/ Marine Corps Relief Society ($1,000 and $500 for the outer rings).

Now this was an elevated tee. It sat Monday on the roof of the Omni San Diego Hotel, 34 floors – 340 feet or thereabouts – above L Street, 268 yards to a flag stabbed into Petco Park’s right field turf and surrounded by a large bull’s-eye. Tough hole, but maybe the most picturesque in the history of golf.

Little wind, but always a threat of tricky gusts. No trees. Possible nosebleed. The only rough was the shot itself. Not since Alan Shepard sliced a few on the moon had we seen anything like it. A David Letterman stunt, perhaps. (SignOnSanDiego.com)

Briny put two in the center, and 8 of 10 in the scoring area - raising $17,500, which Chang’s upped to $25 large. Novel charity work by all (we all lost interest in the chicken lettuce wraps after hearing the damn entree kicker).

Go check out the video on SignOnSanDiego.com