Wild story I pulled from The Telegrath…

After competing in next month’s World Championships, storied women’s squash player Vicky Botwright will retire from the game, and become the Head of Squash in Manchester – home of England’s Squash Association (WISPA) and the National Squash Centre.

Botwright moves on from a career that is marked by some of the most incendiary PR tomfoolery Pro sports promotion has seen since the turn of the century…

At the 2001 British Open, a 16th-ranked Botwright entered the court wearing only a bikini top and thong for an early round match (see the photos below from SquashPics.com). She claimed the traditional squash attire (and I guess speedos, bike shorts, tank tops by extension) was too constrictive. On account of this being completely ridiculous, she was not allowed to compete until she got dressed.

WISPA quickly admitted this to be a lavish publicity stunt, the brainchild of director Andrew Shelley, who scripted the whole thing. Nevertheless, it set off a media frenzy, as Botwright was dubbed the Lancashire Hot Bot, at one point vaulting into the top-10 in the Google search term rankings. Seven years later, the scandalous photos still show up first when you search for her on Google.

Of course, Botwright was moderately to fully aware (how could she not be?) of what she was voluntarily letting herself get involved in. In yesterday’s Telegrath, she’s quoted saying:

“It was the governing body’s idea and obviously was completely staged. I didn’t go to one of the meetings I was supposed to attend and that was my punishment. Always go to a meeting – that’s the key!”

The World Squash Championships run from Oct. 11-19, and shortly thereafter Botwright will takeover as Chief. And barring any unforeseen stunts at next month’s event, retain the title of squash’s most recognizable yet controversial figure.

Links:

Vicky Botwright ready to expose new role for British squash
SQUASH BOSSES GET THEIR KNICKERS IN A TWIST

The Olympic brass is already hard at work with the logistics of the London 2012 Games.

London – Olympic organizers issued detailed design rules for the 2012 London games Wednesday, including a mandate that at least some toilets in the Olympic park do not face the holy Islamic city of Mecca. (The Seattle Times)

The committee – deemed the Olympic Delivery Authority – says they’re dedicated to creating an atmosphere that appeals to as many people from different cultures as possible.

More details like this to be flushed out I’m sure.

Links:

2012 Olympics rule: Toilets that don’t face Mecca (Seattle Times)
Olympic Delivery Authority

When she took my purse I had to do something so I ran after her and grabbed her as hard as I could…She said she hadn’t taken it at first, so I shook the life out of her until she finally gave it back. (Olympic Supergran Chases Down Thief)

Her attitude would make her an Olympic gold medallist if she were just a few years younger, said Williamson of his grandmother. He’s still a strong possibility to take gold in the 100 in Beijing, and allay the team’s Chambers affliction.

The BBC needs to think about a public service announcement featuring this family - is any of the Williamson clan in the Peace Corps currently?

Link:

Dwain Chambers Fails in Attempt to Compete in Olympics (Times Online)
Olympic Athlete’s Grandmother, 78, Chased and Caught a Mugger (Times Online)

Mike “Got Money Like 10 Mo’ Times” Ashley, the owner of Newcastle United, put it bluntly when asked if he was considering a company owned by relatives of Osama Bin Laden as a potential investor in his club:

“I think I’ll start with people from Newcastle, not in some cave in Afghanistan,” Ashley told UK paper The Telegraph.

Rumors have been swirling that Ashley is looking for club investors after his firm Sports Direct took a bath this year in the profits (down 50%). Ashley primarily blames it on the disagreeable weather conditions in England; looks like he’s a got a ways to go in working this out.

Back up to those futbol crazed Bin Laden’s for a second…

The Telegraph also reports that The Saudi Binladin Group, which run by Osama bin Laden’s half-brother Bakr bin Laden, distanced themselves from the Al-Qaeda founder some years ago.

Now I am no great fiscal mind, far from it in fact. But have we considered a name change for the Binladin Group? Even my cut-rate sensibility tells me that association with known terrorists – not really that great for brand equity.

What do they do exactly? Who knows. And I’m not going to be the guy who gets his I.P. address flagged for visiting that website. Nope.

Links:

Mike Ashley Rules Out Newcastle Sale to Bin Laden Family
Newcastle Gets $263 Million Buy Out Offer
Why Mike Ashley Won’t Sell Newcastle United Just Yet

When I first read that cricket is going to allow switch-hitting, I thought how archaic is this sport?

Guardian blogger Richard Williams defends employing switch-hitting, citing Mickey Mantle’s success switching to bat lefty so that he could pooch balls over the short right field wall in Yankee Stadium.

That was pretty revolutionary, progressive thinking…also happened over 50 years ago.

What these cricket ninnies – and cricket is a game played by ninnies – are actually talking about is if the batter (guh, batsman) jumping across the plate (errr, wickets) mid-pitch and then swinging. See for yourself:

Shoot, that was pretty hard core. After Kevin Pietersen hit those two sixes against New Zealand the other day (they look like garden-variety jimmy jacks to me) the MCC endorsed his improvisation.

One of the guvs was quoted saying: Indeed, the stroke conforms to the Laws of Cricket and will not be legislated against!”

That’s great…and geez take it easy, will ya?

According to a Gaurdian poll, 87% of people are against allowing the switch hit (also called the reverse sweep, or the Dominic Monaghan – whose voice it is I hear in my head when I read the Guardian.)

One the commenters on Williams blog asked, who can forget Mike Gatting’s disastrous attempt at [a reverse sweep] at the World Cup in 1987?

Gatting, bloody idiot.

Ah yes, there’s the fancy lad effeteness we’ve come to expect from cricket. I feel much better.

Guardian writer Steven Wells is all perturbed that us ugly American don’t know the difference between Cricket and Croquet.

This is is tiffed-off face.

Wells claims that the first Cricketeers that came to the U.S. back in the 1800’s were a band of salty, arrogant, muttonchop whiskered bastards look like they’ve stepped straight off some hell-bound pirate ship. They look like they gouge their own mother’s eyeballs out with a rusty cutlass for thruppence.

So if it was Davy Jones who brought us cricket, where could we have gone wrong?

I’ll offer Wells this theory on how things went astray…

I believe it was Dennis Leary who said it best when he said: The French gave us the croissant, and we turned that thing into the croissanwich.

I can only assume that England gave the French cricket and they turned it into croquet. And then the French gave it to us around the same time that pizza joints invented the delicious potato croquette, distracting most of the population for a time from even knowing that either of these games existed.

Thus, cricket and croquet get meshed in people’s psyches… and like most French imports both get treated nonchalantly (just like pasteurization and braille).

In fact, English people should feel bad for us! Cousteau gave you folks the aqualung, and Jethro Tull proved that to be pretty bad ass, did they not?

To his credit, Wells can’t help but admit that croquet is thriving in this country…

As you read this, young Americans are playing eXtreme croquet, colossal croquet and mondo croquet.

Mondo croquet… traditional croquet rules, played with a bowling ball and sledgehammer.

The 11th Annual Mondo Croquet World Championships will indeed take place July 27 at High Noon in Portland Oregon.


It happens during the Mad Hatter festival, so if you go apparently Wonderland dress is encouraged.

Steeped in anticipation from a crowd of 3000, the annual Cooper Hill Cheese Rolling event was held in England on Monday (via Awful Announcing…well done).

I will say this, the simplicity of Cheese-rolling is pure eloquence…fall.

man, you look like a real sally if you don’t go for it.

The final stat line was 19 injured, with one of the victors being stretchered off while hooked up to an oxygen tank (relax, he’s fine).

Jason Crowther, 25, who won the first three races of this year’s event told the BBC: “There’s no training you can do for this…but there aren’t any tactics involved, as you can probably see.”

The race has been held in Gloucester, England for over 200 years. That other kind of cheese-rolling was popularized stateside in Miami sometime in the mid-80s, right Pablo?