Hard to believe, but the U.S. Open is indeed over. This year’s victor Lucas Glover might as well be Crispin Glover in Back to the Future III. His time has passed. Time to move on to real golf entertainment, or at least a tournament that’s guaranteed not to finish up on a Monday while your at work. I’m talking of course about the American Century Championship, held every summer in Lake Tahoe – the land of gambling, skiing, that horrible Piven movie Smokin’ Aces, and a place where no man’s golf game would ever get delayed an extra day.

Every year about 80 celebs escape to the Lake so that they can put their 40-yard slices power-fades on display to be broadcast on NBC. Over the years, friendships have been forged at this event. Charles Barkley already challenged Alonzo Mourning to see who can get the lower score this year (probably be around 125). This year, TAHOECELEBRITYGOLF.COM has decided to enlist the sports blog intelligentsia to help foster new connections of would-be golf prowess. Take a look at the list below of the 2009 participants and select your Fantasy Pairings (could be a twosome, threesome, or foursome), and send me your quote-unquote rationale. Next Week leading up to the tournament, we’ll post the best and vote.

The winner is going get their fantasy pairing printed as a by-line in the 2010 American Century Program, which is a family publication, so keep it less-than offensive. TahoeCelebrityGolf.com will also send free merchandise to the top entries. To enter, either email me here or post a short entry on your blog and link back here. Readers are free to enter as well!

Voting kicks off next Monday and the winner will be decided during tournament week beginning July 13.

For my personal, yet very ineligible, submission I’m throwing out a threesome that no Country Club manager would ever dare try to put pin a single with: David Wells, Chuck Liddell and Brian Baumgartner, who plays Kevin on The Office.

These guys could be brothers if you ask me, the kind of brothers that go drink Budweiser in the garage of their parents house for 6 1/2 hours…and then go play a round. You see why I couldn’t have put Alfonso Ribeiro in this group.

Extra favor or consideration may be given to anyone who makes a case for a grouping that features Carlton from Fresh Prince. Check out the list…

1. Marcus Allen (NFL Hall of Fame RB)

2. Ray Allen (Boston Celtics)

3. Anthony Anderson (Law & Order, Barbershop)

4. Derek Anderson (Cleveland Browns)

5. Ronde Barber (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

6. Charles Barkley (Former NBA All-Star)

7. Steve Bartkowski (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

8. Shane Battier (Houston Rockets)

9. Brian Baumgartner (The Office)

10. Tim Brown (Former NFL All-Pro WR)

11. Joe Buck (Announcer)

12. Cris Carter (Former NFL All-Pro WR)

13. Joe Carter (Former MLB All-Star OF)

14. Matt Cassel (Kansas City Chiefs)

15. Chris Chandler (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

16. Vince Coleman (Former MLB All-Star OF)

17. Jay Cutler (Chicago Bears)

18. Jack Del Rio (NFL Head Coach: Jacksonville Jaguars)

19. Vinny Del Negro (NBA Head Coach: Chicago Bulls)

20. Richard Dent (Former NFL All-Pro LB)

21. Trent Dilfer (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

22. Herm Edwards (Former NFL Head Coach)

23. Trent Edwards (Buffalo Bills)

24. John Elway (NFL Hall of Fame QB)

25. Mike Eruzione (Captain, 1980 US Hockey Captain)

26. Marshall Faulk (Former NFL All-Pro RB)

27. Grant Fuhr (NHL Hall of Fame Goalie)

28. Trent Green (NFL All-Pro QB)

29. Anfernee Hardaway (Former NBA All-Star)

30. Rodney Harrison (NFL All-Pro Safety)

31. AJ Hawk (Green Bay Packers)

32. Dennis Haysbert (24, The Unit, Major League)

33. Todd Heap (Baltimore Ravens)

34. Oliver Hudson (Rules of Engagement)

35. Brett Hull (Former NHL All-Star)

36. Dan Jansen (Olympic Gold Medal Speed Skater)

37. Dale Jarrett (NASCAR Driver)

38. Dick Jauron (NFL Head Coach, Buffalo Bills)

39. Michael Jordan (NBA Legend)

40. Jason Kidd (Dallas Mavericks)

41. Pierre Larouche (Former NHL All-Star)

42. Matt Leinart (Arizona Cardinals)

43. Mario Lemieux (NHL Legend)

44. Chuck Liddell (MMA Fighter)

45. Kenny Lofton (Former MLB All-Star)

46. Neil Lomax (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

47. John Lynch (Former NFL All-Pro Safety)

48. Dan Marino (NFL Hall of Fame QB)

49. Tino Martinez (Former MLB All-Star 1B)

50. Chris McDonald (Happy Gilmore)

51. Bruce McGill (Animal House)

52. Jim McMahon (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

53. Bode Miller (World Class Skier)

54. Alonzo Mourning (Former NBA All-Star)

55. Kevin Nealon (SNL)

56. Daniel Negreanu (Professional Poker Player)

57. Terence Newman (NFL All-Pro CB: Dallas Cowboys)

58. Jonathan Ogden (Former All-Pro OL)

59. Paul O’Neill (Former MLB All-Star OF)

60. Carson Palmer (Cincinnati Bengals)

61. Digger Phelps (ESPN Analyst, Former Notre Dame Basketball Coach)

62. Wade Phillips (NFL Head Coach: Dallas Cowboys)

63. Maury Povich (Television Host)

64. Dan Quayle (Former U.S Vice President)

65. Dan Quinn (Former NHL Center)

66. Rick Rhoden (Former MLB All-Star Pitcher)

67. Alfonso Ribeiro (Fresh Prince of Bel Air)

68. Jerry Rice (Former NFL All-Pro WR)

69. Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packers)

70. Jeremy Roenick (San Jose Sharks)

71. Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers)

72. Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond)

73. Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys)

74. Matt Ryan (Atlanta Falcons)

75. Mark Rypien (Former All-Pro NFL QB)

76. Bret Saberhagen (Former MLB Pitcher/World Series MVP)

77. Joe Sakic (Colorado Avalanche)

78. Matt Schaub (Houston Texans)

79. Mike Schmidt (MLB Hall of Fame 3B)

80. Mike Shanahan (Former NFL Head Coach)

81. Sterling Sharpe (Former NFL All-Pro WR)

82. Emmitt Smith (NFL All-Time Rushing Leader)

83. Ozzie Smith ( MLB Hall of Fame SS)

84. Steve Spurrier (Univ. of South Carolina Football Coach)

85. Darryl Strawberry (Former MLB All-Star OF)

86. Wally Szczerbiak (Cleveland Cavaliers)

87. Lawrence Taylor (NFL Hall of Fame LB)

88. Vinny Testaverde (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

89. Joe Theismann (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

90. Billy Joe Tolliver (Former NFL QB)

91. Brian Urlacher (Chicago Bears)

92. Jack Wagner (The Bold and The Beautiful)

93. Antoine Walker (Former NBA All-Star)

94. Wes Welker (New England Patriots)

95. David Wells (Former All-Star Pitcher)

96. Ken Whisenhunt (NFL Head Coach: Arizona Cardinals)

Before you get too offended, understand that contained within this post is an opportunity to hang with Scottie Pippen and drink free beer on a Sunday afternoon, as the title suggest.

The Tribeca Film Festival is getting underway, and amongst the films premiering at the Fest is the outlandish doc Midgets vs. Mascots. I’ll let the description speak for itself…

In this “Borat” meets “Jackass” shockumentary, 5 little people and 5 mascots battle for $1 million apiece in competitions like “how few insults does it take to get punched in a bar”, and “alligator wrestling”. Gary Coleman, leading the littles as himself, is a comedic freight train (or train wreck) as he gets into actual fist fights with mascots, coaches and even Scottie Pippen. Like “Borat”, much of the film is shot “guerilla improv” as they surprise unsuspecting bystanders when the teams crash restaurants, bars and neighborhoods during outrageous competitions.

Well, after viewing this trailer, I think it’s possible that Coleman & Co. may have usurped Sasha Cohen, and his upcoming part deux of the Ali G series Bruno, in the shock dept.

Gary, with all due respect, it’s a fair question. What else have you done? In fact, the first person to email me the show from this photo below (Gary appeared in an Episode once) wins the chance to, again, meet Scottie Pippen and drink free beer next Sunday.

The details, Gunaxin and Scottie are hosting a pre-party next Saturday in New York City at the Village Pourhouse, with free open bar from 12:30 – 1:30 p.m.! Afterwards, we’re going to check out the screening of Midgets vs. Mascots. Send me the title of the show and you get to come hang.

Midgets vs. Mascots – a Gunaxin Party (Gunaxin)

To the victor go the spoils! Meet Matt Knell, the winner of the first ever Superbowl Giveaway (first ever Giveaway, period) on this here blog. He wins that gaggle of goodness I was pimpin’ on behalf of Pepsi about a week ago. For those of you who weren’t aware of the contest, here’s what Matt wins, and the rest of the star-crossed contestants can only continue to pine for…

I asked Matt, a crushed Giants fan in fact, to give us some insight into his Superbowl plans…

Super Bowl party plans probably consist of snacky goodness in the

apartment with the girlfriend, and perhaps a few others – we’ll dress

up the cat and our chin in Arizona Cardinals jerseys (NFC all the

way).

It took me a minute to decipher chin, actually it took me until Matt emailed me again granting me permission to post photos of his chinchilla (oh!) named Minnie. Here’s that strange animal in question now…

Congratulations to Matt, who also happens to be a blogger (you can check him out at TagSmith.org and SM4SC.com)

For the rest of you, just gonna have to wait until the next epic consumer brand marketing scheme here on Steady Burn – cause I’m sure as hell not giving away any of my own sweet contraband.

Go to the Steady Burn Facebook Page!

Hey, if a team that lost games during the regular season 47-7 and 56-35 – with a Quarterback who has come back from the dead more times than agent Tony Almeida on 24 – can make it to the Superbowl, then why can’t a blog that rambles on about Lil Wayne, roller derby, Natalie Gulbis, and kickball get in on the Superbowl marketing blitzkrieg, right?

Right. That is why yours truly has been given the privilege of giving away this cachet of prizes from Pepsi.

This Ultimate Pepsi Super Bowl Party Pack includes:

• 1 football
• 1 beverage pail
• 1 snack helmet
• 2 key chains
• 2 hats
• 2 t-shirts
• 5 Pepsi 24 pack coupons
• 5 Frito Lay coupons

The process is real simple, just go to Facebook here and become a fan of the new Steady Burn fanpage. I’ll be adding righteous content to this page moving forward. You can go there right now and check out the videos from last year’s debauched experience attending all three legs of the Triple Crown of Thoroughbred racing. I also added some photos of the RZA taking on chess prodigies on his birthday at a Wu Chess event from last year.

On Monday I’ll kick off Superbowl week by selecting a winner from all the Facebook fans and I’ll FED-EX you this prize pack. (I’ll even pop for two-day delivery!) Hugging Harold Reynolds is giving one of these away too, and they have a much more creative approach. So head over there and offer up your best Superbowl watching experience, and double your chance to win one of these bad boys!

To address a few FAQs, this is totally a boiler room operation we’re running here, so people I know personally are absolutely eligible. Also, if you email me a photo of your dog and promise to make him or her wear the chip helmet during the game (with the Doritos bowl filled) the odds may be skewed in your favor.

So on Monday morning I’m planning to have my lovely assistant (fresh off her stint at the Rusted Gun Saloon, pictured above) write everybody’s name down on little slips of paper, throw them all into a hat, and pour me a snifter of brandy. I’ll then select three names and take a healthy swig.

Next, I’ll light-up a cuban stogie, take a puff, then torch two of the names and those people will receive absolute squat. The person whose name dons the remaining slip will emerge victorious and receive the t-shirt, the football, the beverage pail to add to their collection, the league rated impact resistance snack helmet, and all the other accoutrement you see above

……..

Go to Facebook and fan the Steady Burn page right now because the winner will be selected at dawn on Monday (I gotta smoke down that Cuban, crush brandy, kick my lovely assistant off my apartment premises, and show up for work by 9 – it’s going to be a daunting A.M.). Every human alive is eligible, except for this kid…

Go to the Steady Burn Facebook Page!