Posts Tagged ‘detroit’

In NFL fan Hell…

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Every game is this game.

And while we’re throwing some jabs the Lions way, fast forward four days in the future from their Doofus Bowl against the Browns…

This Thanksgiving marks the 5th anniversary of Detroit retiring Barry Sanders #20 – and it’s been at least that long since they should be allowed to host a Thanksgiving Day NFL football game. Since that 2004 game that honored Sanders, Detroit is 0-5 on Thanksgiving and has been outscored 179 – 62 by their opponents. The last time Detroit won on Thanksgiving was in 2003 against Green Bay, the team they face this year as a matter of fact. Also, the team that beat them 26-0 in Week 6.

The Thanksgiving games have been been a league tradition since 1920, and Detroit has been a host since 1934. However, what’s more important – league tradition or league integrity?

I’m not a league official, I’m just a guy who asks questions.

Top-5 Conan Sports Figure Look-alikes (poll)

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Conan returns tonight. He’s got a fresh time slot. Fresh studio in Los Angeles. Also, Pearl Jam is playing!! In my opinion, his reemergence once again cements the late night talk show as the TV that everyone sorta likes, and no one seems to hate radically.

Seriously, Conan rules and Jimmy Fallon drools like an invalid. As an honor to his host competency, decided to compare his finer qualities (red hair, translucent skin tone) to some of the sporting world’s finest.

Here are your Top-5 Conan Sports Figure Look-alikes. Hit the poll at the bottom or suggest your own in the comment (the only disqualification goes to Brian Scalabrine – who’d be a contender if he wasn’t already a dead-on for Rapaport)


Robert Swift – our first nominee is all things pale, ginger, and as gangly as the day is long – extra points.




Corey Schneider – he’s not just some random red-headed hockey player I pulled off Google images. This guy is actually the goalie for the Manitoba Moose, AHL affiliate of the Vancouver Canucks.

…Mountie Conan says extra points for being in Canada.




Prince Harry – or Harry Windsor, the poloist




Lil Red, Nebraska Cornhuskers Mascot – could have gone down the mascot road with a few candidates (from the Louisville Cardinal to the fire guy from the Beijing Olympics), but I thought this goofball represents best…




Chris Shelton – more like if Conan had a baby with Sloth from Goonies. There just aren’t that many good pale red baseball players (Mark McGwire and Wade Boggs – both retired, too easy, and not to mention both probably currently looking more like giant versions of the red Ooga Booga).





Don’t forget to cast a vote…



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“Gone!!!…No, it’s not!”

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

For the social media junkies reading this, if you’re aspiring to get something linked on Fark (a veritable cavalcade of referral traffic) take note of the headline for this submission…

If Curtis Granderson had been at Little Bighorn, the results may have been a bit different (with video of “Play of the Year” candidate)




The real star of this clip is Grady Sizmore’s face. Talk about falling under a spell of doldrums upon seeing his would-be game-winning walk-off hyphen-inducing home run robbed by Granderson. Did he promise a terminal cancer kid he was going to hit a walk-off tonight?

According to MLB.com, Sizemore wasn’t available for comment, but Indians’ broadcaster Al Pawlowski’s call pretty much hit on the emotion:

“GONE!!! … No it’s not!”

What is the Worst Sports Memorabilia You Own?

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

As you might have seen on here last week, my inspiration for this blogger poll came from a signed b&w 8×10 of Mo Vaughn.

I’d now like to publicly and humbly apologize to Mo. Not only did he win a MVP way back in ’95, but a autographed photo of his is not even in the same stratosphere as what some members of the sports blog intelligentsia were willing to claim ownership of.

Check out some of the best, and help select the piece de resistance by voting in the comments.

Alana G (AlanaG.com)

I jokingly bid on this [1992 Dream Team Raft] from ebay after I saw a blog post about it during the Olympics on Fourth Place Medal. As it turned out I was the only bidder, so now I own it. As advertised, it has a slow leak, so is not usable as a float. I thought about making my living room a little Nacho Cheesier by hanging it on my wall, but I simply can’t decide which side to display: Scottie Pippin’s head or David Robinson’s armpits…

Michael Rand (Randball)

That’s an easy one: this summer, I went with some friends on our annual baseball road trip. This year included a stop in Kansas City, where we were the “lucky” recipients of Larry Gura bobbleheads on his special night. Career record of 126-97, mostly for the late 70s-early 80s Royals. But hey, it was a bobblehead. So I kept it.

Matty I (Phinsider)

About 13 years ago, there was a Sports Authority opening in my town. They advertised that a “Nets player” would be at the opening. It turned out to be Armen Gilliam. So I got his autograph on a basketball…which is now stuck in my garage somewhere.

Isaac (World of Isaac)

I’m just gonna go ahead and post our gchat conversation for this one…

Isaac: I own a Fennis Dembo autograph
he was one of the most useless NBA players of all-time
but he won a championship with the Pistons

me: who in god’s name is Fennis Dumbo?

Isaac: star college player out of wyoming
played on the bad boys
he’s a janitor now

me: that’s pretty sweet

Isaac: its easily the most useless thing I own

Chris Illuminati (Nine to Fried, Hugging Harold Reynolds)

About ten years ago, my uncle went to a celebrity golf event and John Elway was one of the participants. My uncle ran into him on the course and got him to sign a hat. He gave it to me along with the guest pass that allowed my uncle all-access to the celebs. My uncle gave me the pass as proof he was there and it’s really John Elway’s signature. First off, I’m not an Elway fan. I mean it would have been cool if I met Elway but someone else meeting him does NOTHING for my life story. Second, I can’t prove Elway signed. My uncle’s word of honor does nothing for me in the world of eBay and memorabilia selling. I can’t send it away to get authenticated because it’s not on a ball or jersey or something recognized as an object that sports stars would autograph. It’s a freaking hat. So it sits in my closet next to a small framed picture/sports card of Elway that my mom bought me to go along with the hat. All of these mementos for probably my 143 favorite player of all time. I guess it’s payback for the Super Bowl against the Giants when as a 9-year-old child I kept screaming on every Giants’ defensive stand to ‘break Elway’s legs!’

Steve Melfi (NY Hoosier)

You’re going to be flabbergasted when you find out what this is. That is a signed Nordstrom’s bag with the Hancock of a one Khalid El-Amin, former UCONN point guard. He totally wrote 99 Champs! on it too.

Toss The Burner: Oct. 29, 2008

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Even though I’ve pretty much fazed video games out of my life, I can appreciate this. EA and NBA 2K9 announced a concert tour this week, that will feature a troupe of rap artists touring in support of the new game.

Go to Pitchfork and check out the tour dates; whether you’re a premiere team in the West or a mediocre team in the East (or you live in Aspen), they should be coming to a town near you. Check out some of the artists that’ll be seen on the 2K Sports Bounce Tour….

The 2K Bounce Tour kicks off November 5 in the Cool Kids hometown of Chicago

The 2K Bounce Tour kicks off November 5 in the Cool Kids hometown of Chicago

Q-Tip (http://www.myspace.com/qtip)
The Cool Kids (http://www.myspace.com/thecoolkids)
DJ Scratch (http://www.myspace.com/djscratch)
the Knux (http://www.myspace.com/theknux)

Tech leaders back sports blog network (via Busted Coverage)
Guitar Hero vs. Rock Band (Gunaxin)
Top 11 things we have learned so far in the NFL this year (Epic Carnival)
DETROIT NEWS WRITER ROB PARKER FABRICATES STORIES? (The World of Isaac)
The seven: Vampire movies with eye candy (Cuzoogle)
The Simpsons Spoof The Mad Men Intro (via Pop Candy)
Deron Williams, Chris Paul Wilderness Survival Guide, Video (NESW Sports)

Toss the Burner: Oct. 27, 2008

Monday, October 27th, 2008

So we’re in the bar watching football yesterday afternoon, and this commercial comes on. Before I even have a chance to figure out what’s going on on-screen, my buddy remarks, “this is the douchey-est thing that I’ve ever seen.”

The douchey-est thing that I’ve ever seen. Yep, pretty accurate.

NBA Power Rankings – Week 1 (Cuzoogle)
Singletary Did Every Coach A Favor (MoonDog Sports)
So You Want to Work in Sports?: Stephen Masterson, Recruiting Manager, Game Face Inc. (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
15 great sportscasting bloopers (on205th)
Top 5 Michael Jordan Nike Commercials (NESW Sports)
DID MISS AMERICA JUST SEND THE LIONS TO AN 0-16 SEASON? (The World of Isaac)
POLL: Early BCS Talk (Intentional Foul)

If You Had Money Vol. 1, Ed. 1, Iss. 3

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

Maybe your deep pockets have quickly fallen in love with Dan Orlovsky’s propensity for getting flushed out of the pocket?

The guy throws a 96-yard TD pass to Calvin Johnson, and his website costs yay? That’s over $4,000 bucks per fantasy point!

I checked, and .net is still available for $9.99/year on GoDaddy

Kids play in bouncy castle for 24 hours, get Guinness World Record!

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008

It’s a world record that would make most people dizzy.

Bounce, bounce, bounce … for 24 hours. That was what eight boys in Michigan did this week in an effort to set a world record.

The boys began the attempt Friday morning at the Bounce-a-Lot entertainment center southwest of Detroit in Flat Rock.

They bounced two at a time in shifts in an inflatable castle. (Metro UK Weird News)

What grinds my gears about these kids is that they’re rubbing it in my face that somewhere Summer vacation still exist, and I am no longer privy to it. Grrr, just look at how carefree these brats look in their mesh shorts and athletic socks! It appears that one kid has an i-pod, you don’t think that I’m listening to music right now that lends itself to bouncing in a giant inflatable balloon? It’s Panama, by Van Halen!

Guinness World Records must still authenticate the record, a process that could take months.

Months? What is this, appeals courts? Is it that we have juveniles attempting this, regularly? If that’s the case, personally, I hope there are some real sob stories out there. Maybe an errant toenail severed the bouncy thing in the seventeenth hour. Maybe a twister swept one away.

Oh, and you better believe that I’m annoyed they did it in rotation. Rotation? What are they, training for the Cop-Out Junior Olympics? Somebody should inform these kids about other faux-endurance activities we have in this country, like team marathons. People love these, because they’re part of team and only have to run part of the race. So people who could never run a real marathon decide to do it…drunk.

Assuming everything checks out and they actually get the record, maybe they’ll luck out and get listed in the book next to the guy who holds the record for wearing the most t-shirts at one time.

Is there a chapter in the Guinness book for ‘People Who Set World Records, But Come Off Looking Like Failures’?