Every thrifty media whore out there would probably agree – why buy these days, when you can market?

I was hoping that the Tour of Battenkill meant guided tours of like a British Isle village ransacked by Vikings in the 8th century, preserved in its decrepit state (we could pitch the same people who sponsored the Slayer tour to sign on). Unfortunately, of course it’s for a cycling event instead.

According to the listing, last year’s Tour of Battenkill attracted 1200 racers to the event in Upstate New York, which means if you pony up, you get to be the title sponsor of the largest Pro-Am Cycling Race in America! The fifth annual is being held in April ’09, when they expect 1500 racers and 20,000+ spectators.

I’d borrow funds from the projected Q3 earnings for SB Media Ventures LLC to cover the $150K, but unfortunately I don’t think a cycling event properly aligns with our rock n’ roll image.

(If You Had Money Archive)

Each Wednesday, I post a weekly update to the digest “If You Had Money”, which shows the sporting goods and memorabilia you could purchase if disposable income was no longer a thing of the past. Each week, it will inevitably leave you wanting…

Before we get into it, let me remind you that the government owes you mmmmmmonney.

Now, our most scandalous investment opportunity yet…

(more…)

Each Wednesday, I post a weekly update to the digest “If You Had Money”, which shows the sporting goods and memorabilia you could purchase if disposable income was no longer a thing of the past. Each week, it will inevitably leave you wanting…

Afternoon, paper chasers. Something nifty for all you folks out there with Senatorial seat-bidding cash on hand…

This is possibly America’s oldest manufactured golf club. Do I hear $155,000 please?

And it sounds like somebody did there homework here….Rafter Radiocarbon Laboratories in New Zealand dates the wood back to 1760 (+/- 40 years). Also, the design is crude as compared to the Scottish clubs that were being produced at the time, and they believe that this stick was made by a U.S. blacksmith.

Despite it’s origins on this side of the pond, this club come with a lifetime membership to the Old Course at St. Andrews, and a welcome invitation to engage in night putting with the Dunhill town strumpet anytime you feel compelled.

NOTE: If you’re going to get the sticks, you have to have the attire to match…I’m talking pre-Judge Schmales era. I’d suggest going with the Purple and Taupe Payne Stewart get-up (c/o GolfKnickers.com)

I read the other day that pawn shop business was on the rise, which suggests that people are being forced to part with valuables to cope with these tough economic times. Dismal.

With that said, check this guy out:

Not for individual sale. If you want them, you gotta plunk down 70 Gs for all 125 pairs of this guy’s Air Jordan collection. All brand new, and in-box.

I used the handy shipping calculator, and it lied to me and said it costs $11.45 to ship these from Las Vegas to New York.

Jaquizz, this can’t be easy for you, friend. But since you’re in Vegas, before you close on a sale I’d advise you to poke around The Trop to see if you can find the real MJ to shell out for this.

Going to do a little financial reporting on the sporting goods you could buy, if you had money.

Remember frivolous spending?

TSGYCB,IYHM vol.1, ed. 1 – this disc golf disc

Description:

Your looking at a brand new never thrown 2007 USDGC CE Champion Rancho ROC 180g #2638. Rare 1 of only 1 ORANGE ICE champion plastic roc with a RED Metallic stamp.

Interested?… But they’re only gonna juke you for 20 bucks on the shipping!

For $1750, it aught to morph into a ninja star. (Cause the ninja stars are only 99 cents on Ebay!)

After the rip-roaring success of the politically charged Great “Bailouts” in Sports History, I decided to go back to the well and poll the sports blogging intelligentsia on issues quasi-related to Decision ’08. This week’s topic:

BEST SPORTS PLATFORMS FOR THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

It may seem a little (or entirely) taboo right now, given the economic ground and pound, however, I’ll point to a story in this week’s New Yorker by Peter Boyer (The Appalachian Problem) on Obama’s campaigning in Appalachia, in an attempt to siphon votes away from McCain and take the state of West Virginia . Boyer brings up former Democratic Governor Mark Warner, who fought an uphill battle to get into office, and repaid the voters of the region by getting Virginia Tech into the ACC. Since VT joined the conference, their men’s basketball team earned its first NCAA Tournament berth, and the football team was able to expand Lane Stadium. All the while, creating heightened interest in V-Tech sports in and around the region – translating into additional revenue, not to mention jobs, in the state.

In the same light, I’m suggesting Obama vow to get Memphis out of Conference U.S.A, to appeal to the economically liberal, socially conservative voters of Tennessee. (And Alabama’s UAB faithful.)

If he so chose, he could mix in some lackadaisical foreign policy while catering to the Memphis populus – who can see Germantown from their houses (nod to Scott from WaitingForNextYear.com for that one!)

Here are some other campaign promises the sports blogosphere would like to hear coming out of the political arena in the final month of the race. And Since Obama and McCain already downplayed anti-steroids legislation (thanks Phil, from CheatorBeat, for that), they could use something to get sports fans going…

“[The candidates] should focus their campaign on adopting the ‘Francesca Football Plan’ which involves replacing the final two NFL exhibition games with regular season games. This plan, which I first heard mentioned by WFAN Legend (in his own mind) Mike Francesca, would expand the NFL regular season to 18 total games and in doing so would push the SuperBowl back two weeks to the Sunday just prior to Presidents Day. This would create an official, govt. sanctioned three-day SuperBowl Holiday weekend and subsequently do away with the most ‘called-out’ workday of the year.” (Chris “Shorty” Smith, BadChoiceMilk)

The incremental plan to increase the amount of football is as brilliant as Francesca is insufferable.

Have you seen the Mike Francesca Show? Who in their right mind would watch that one gurgle for a half-hour late Sunday night when you’re faded from a full-day of football?

Jimmy Traina from SI.com has a simpler suggestion for how our chief commander could improve the NFL: “Whoever is elected president needs to make the Monday after the Super Bowl a national holiday”

The Super Bowl is already a well established, polished glutton fest. But this would set off a spending spree that would rival black friday. It would all be contained to beer and protein, but still. (plus I think I’d like to live in country where those things helped drive the economy). The real benefit, however, is the money saved by companies closing on a clear no-work work day.

Bares mentioning that I’m actively looking for a politician to run for office on the four-day work week platform. The Super Bowl holiday could seamlessly be included as buffer.

NBA blogger Trey Kerby (The Blowtorch) would like your candidates to abolish the shooting game at the All-Star Game, and mandate a one-on-one tournament.

The score of last year’s All-Star game was 134-128 – 260 points, yet almost an unwatchable game. It’s a combined point total that’s only rival is that of the Dow Jones Industrial losses over the last week. What do they have in common? Both are pretty boring to follow, yet there is undeniably something wrong happening.

Forget NBA All-Star regulation though, what we need is NBA relegation. I’d like to see the president vow to protect against lame duck teams who mail in the end of the year so they have 25% chance of getting the #1 pick in the lottery. You tank, congratulations, welcome to the D-League. Have fun spending a year throttling post-pubescant 19-year olds (that run, and run, and run) in Sioux Falls for a year.

Here are some additional ideas to get people flocking to the polls:

Start a professional ice hockey league! Wait, … (Doug Sheckler, Epic Carnival, on205th Magazine)

Here’s a thought – make instant replay mandatory in every sport. Everything is reviewable, especially missed calls. (Moon Dog Sports)

“There needs to be a plus one system playoff for D1 college football. The top 4 play and the winners play in a final game. This will keep the pundits happy that still want to keep the smaller bowls, and it will still allow for a lot of pork barrel spending at the AT&T Cotton Bowl, AutoZone, Liberty Bowl, Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, Brut Sun Bowl, Capital One Bowl,Champs Sports Bowl…” (Ethan Jaynes, NESW Sports)

…etc., etc., etc., etc. (great ref. to pork barrel spending!)

“Being that Ohio is a battleground state, Obama should campaign to get better coaching for the bengals and browns. I’d say the same about michigan…but mccain’s already conceded it and the lions are a lost cause anyway.” (Dan, InGameNow)

Swing states are going to make or break this election, and both candidates have already vowed to examine and take down programs that aren’t working (I think they were mainly talking about government bureaucracy, however.)

Do your civic duty, and vote for the platform that will get our presidential candidates your vote on November 4: