Realizing the NFL season is nearly a week old, and I haven’t heard a peep out of Warren Sapp. Not one iota of commentary out of the guy. This should not be the case after tonight’s episode of Inside the NFL.
Sapp has never been a blowhard per say, more like jovially opinionated – he appreciates a good josh.
So, I thought it worthwhile to check out what he’s been out lately via his online channels.
His website QBKilla.com, let’s say not exactly a content engine. You can get a nice t-shirt that says QB Killa tho. Available in standard or pink baby-tee, yes zir (as Sapp himself might say).
What his website lacks in, well, multiple pages quite honestly, the Sapp Twitter feed (@QBKilla, naturally) makes up for in offbeat photo content.
Here’s one of a dog (a ridiculous looking dog in an NFL jersey). Here’s one of a short bus.
And…here’s a picture of what I believe Warren Sapp ate recently.
Brief update on the gutting situation at the old Giants stadium – not in reference to Rotund Rex per say – as the Jets and Giants get set to move into an enormous new building next year.
According to the ad, the unit is in excellent shape and was used by both teams during games for injuries, physical exams for Giant players, World Cup Soccer, College football games and all other events which required diagnostic imaging services.
Not sure how old it is, but it looks old.
So if you know any lucrative radiologists – they want 4 Gs for this bad sally – who are looking to wow their patients with fun facts like, this is where Dave Meggett got screened after Bill Romanowski tried to rip his finger off, pass it along.
For fans everywhere of speaking loudly for the sake of trying to make a stale point sound important, I’m sure you’ll all be real fired up to hear that Jon Gruden inked a multiyear extension with Monday Night Football today. Plus, they’re gonna let him be a part of like five other projects.
ESPN “Monday Night Football” analyst and former longtime NFL coach Jon Gruden has agreed to a multiyear extension with the network.
Gruden, who joined ESPN in September to replace Tony Kornheiser in the MNF booth, will also appear on ESPN’s Super Bowl week and NFL Draft coverage, will call the 2010 NFL Pro Bowl and will serve as an analyst for ESPN Radio’s 2010 Rose Bowl and BCS title game broadcasts, where he will again team with MNF play-by-play caller Mike Tirico.
That means multiple more years of Gruden insight (“this guy’s a football player”) and in depth analysis (“this guy’s a running back”) on MNF. Personally, I can’t get enough of his inability to keep a straight face during those rare moments where the camera focuses in on the booth. Unprofessional, yes. A clear-cut indication that he’s just tuned Jaw’s out, why hell yes.
Starts off with some motivation from that old sage, 24-year old second-year NFL QB Matt Ryan…35 seconds in Lil Jon switches themes to getting crunk at the club, obviously.
Put it to you like this: I just picked up Maurice Morris and Jerome Harrison, and they’re both in my starting line-up for Sunday.
That’s after I was unable to pick up Ladell Betts off the waiver wire.
And in the interest of full disclosure, to make room on the roster, I dropped Zach Miller to pick up Maurice (who I opted for over Sammy Morris, in fact) and Earnest P-Funk Graham to pick up Jerome. Which means it took me this long to get rid of both those guys.
However, I’m 3-0, Jack. With a win coming last week off some powerful performances from Gore (0 points), Trent Edward (2 points) and Tim Hightower (0 points). This, as I see it, is indicative of only one thing – that other people in my league are being forced to promote even bigger schlubs than the roster I just laid out in front of you.
In the interest of self pity in a group environment, I invite you to leave your #1 doofus currently in your fantasy starting line-up in the comments…
Preferably players you’ve been forced to pick-up, but this forum is also willing to comfort those plagued by bad drafting (doofuses like Delhomme, Tomlinson).
SIDEBAR: Earnest Graham looking dapper in a tan suit, standing next to a graffiti’d out train on what appears to be a stormy day. Something to ponder.
On September 14, 2009, the great Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer and passed away too young at the age of 57. Swayze had a prolific acting career, one that inspired his devoted fan base to believe that if anyone could beat this disease it was him (Swayze played a bank robbing surf ninja and villainous sky diving enthusiast in Point Break. Cancer? No problem, compadre). He was diagnosed in January of 2008 with a sickness that most people will succumb to in under a year – he held on for 20+ months. During that time period, his 1989 film Road House was the most broadcast movie on American television in the past year according to Rolling Stone – airing 45 times on AMC, A&E and CMT. Maybe you were lucky enough to flip it on and catch a riveting scene like this…
In lieu of burying Swayze with Dalton’s medical dossier, each Tuesday during football season I’ll be awarding one player the “Pain Don’t Hurt” Award to honor Swayze’s memory. This week’s recipient…Before we get to this week’s award winner, let me just say one thing: dammitall.
One week after Frank Gore rumbled for…well, let’s be honest, what I care about is that he rumbled for 40 points for my fantasy team, Gore pulls – as LL might say in an NFL ad spot – a Frank Gore and goes down for 3 weeks. The curse of the Pain Don’t Hurt Award strikes again.
These recent unfortunate events* for both myself and the San Fran Niners (who become more tragic every week it seems) does make it easier for me to select a player this week from my most hated franchise in the league – the New Jersey Jets.
Mark Sanchez stayed efficient, went for 171 yards passing and two TDs, including that unreal 14-yard rushing TD that was full of both hard-nosed determination and rookie poor decision making.
We’re gonna give Mark the award (cause I’m sure as hell not giving one of these to Favre. Not in this lifetime), but since it really grinds my gears the Jets are a shuttering 3-0, I’ve also got a foolish pic of him up on the SB Facebook page – GO CREATE-A-CAPTION!
*In no way am I rooting for anything physically unfortunate to happen to Mark Sanchez that would jeopardize his playing career, or even further jeopardize his ability to grow a mustache. If, the PDH Award can in anyway cause him to get scolded more (check out: Jets scold Mark Sanchez for putting San-chize at risk with head-first dive), well that I’m all for.
A couple good joshers from the wide world of prep football today. Chuck Klosterman (and other ex-high school athletes from North Dakota), these are in your wheelhouse…
The more draconian of the two, eight players at Upper Arlington High School in Ohio have been suspended for tonight’s game after some suggestive behavior in the team photo…
Upper Arlington High School has suspended at least eight players for tonight’s football game against Findlay High School.
A report from a Columbus television station says that at least eight senior players have been suspended from school and will not participate in the game against the Trojans because of sexually explicit gestures made in a picture…
So, eight imbeciles made the shocker in the team picture. Reminds me of the time one of my Catholic grammar school pals, we’ll call him Tito Jackson, flipped the bird in the second grade class photo. (He used both hands actually, which were hanging by his side. It was the double inverted salute, in fact.) My mom was less than thrilled when she saw that, and I didn’t get to play Nintendo track n’ field at Tito’s house for quite some time.
Like Tito Jackson, the actions of these H.S. baffoons did indeed see the light of day. The photo wasn’t discovered until it appeared in the school’s football program book and posters distributed to local businesses.
Meanwhile, it wasn’t player hijinks that stunted the order of Alcoa and Fulton’s game last night, but something out of an Indiana Jones or Kevin Bacon movie…
With Alcoa leading 20-7 in the fourth quarter last night, the game had to be postponed because of sinkhole all of suddenly opened on 41-yard line.
OK, maybeTremors is a bad comparison here. The hole was only a foot in a half in diameter – it wasn’t exactly eating midfield.
Sensing victory, Alcoa coach Gary Rankin wanted to play it out using half the field. Instead, they’ve postponed until 5 p.m today. That is, unless it develops into this…
Is ludicrousity (sp.) a word? At least in the sense that when I say that this here is the Brett Favre ludicrousity story that will trump all other Favre ludicrousity stories, you know what I’m talking about?
I’d like to point out that the already oft-blogged story about the car, the innocent auto mechanic James Prusci, the mad woman of Winona, and the curiously purple goat…nay, sacrificial goat sounds even more ridiculous when you Tarantino it and tell the end first.
But as the woman walked toward her car, an animal control vehicle and two police cars pulled up, Prusci said.
He’s not sure what happened next.
Winona Police Sgt. Chris Nelson confirmed Prusci’s story Saturday morning, saying the goat was in the care of a local veterinarian.
Animal control officer Wendy Peterson, who investigated the incident, could not be reached for comment. It is unclear if the woman or man were cited.
As for Prusci, he’s just thankful to hear the goat is OK.
“It was definitely the most out-of-the norm thing I’ve ever seen.”
What fully occurred was that on Friday a woman arrived at a Tires Plus in Winona, WI to have a belt replaced on her Chevy Malibu. Shortly thereafter, a goat painted purple and donning Favre’s #4 was discovered in the trunk – because like any brand of cuckoo puff she told Prusci, straightaway, that she had it in there, and intended to slaughter it.
The goat had been painted purple and gold – the colors for the Minnesota Vikings. Shaved into its side was the No. 4 – the number of Brett Favre, who made his Vikings debut Friday night in a preseason game in the Twin Cities.
The goat was lying on its side, tied at its feet. Prusci said it had some pretty big horns.
The workers closed the trunk – they couldn’t have a goat wandering around the shop. But when they checked on the animal later, it wasn’t moving as much.
They called animal control.
Jesus. Tap Dancing. Christ, lady.
H/T to The Sporting Blog for the awesome pic, and @johnthedomingos for the article (which, truth be told, I thought was in the Wino Daily News until about five minutes ago).
Obama gave the commencement key note at the Notre Dame Graduation on Saturday, and not everyone there was psyched about it. I’ll start this one about 4:20 in, you’ll see why…
They probably limited the students to 2-4 tickets for the family, and some kid had the audacity to invite his/her limo driver. Unreal.
As if he almost predicted the outburst, Obama went were he needed to go to calm the ND crowd – the playing field. But what angle do you choose when you’re dealing with the fact that the once dominant Notre Dame legacy has been reduced to a middling Basketball team and a middling football team? Well, guys, you’ve still got the largest outdoor 5-on-5 tournament in the World. (Did I mention I had the Tarheels come over my house the other day?)
Had Jeeves heard Hallelujah Holla Back roll off Barack’s tongue? Agreed, he still would shouted obscenities from the Upper Deck.
Even though there’s something like a few hundred million of us Worldwide, admittedly I’m pretty fortunate to be named Mike. For instance, it’s a handle that is rarely if ever misspelled. I can only remember once in recent times that someone botched it. I had ordered Chinese take-out and the lady wrote my name on the bill spelled Maik. She’s pretty destined not to progress beyond that field.
On the contrary, it’s gotta be rough to be named Sean, or Shaun, or Shawn – the people who meet you have a 33% chance of success at best, maybe 50% if you’re Irish. Then these two jokers come along and compound the problem…
Chone “Chown” Figgins
…and Shonn Greene, Running Back and this year’s third round draft pick of the New York Jets
One laughs in the face of phonetics, and the other completely exploits it.
Sean Connery, Shaun of the Dead, Shawn from Boy Meets World, and everyone else (except Sean Salisbury, douche), here’s a poll that aims to uphold your integrity…
