In honor of this very glorious Day One at The Masters, aspiring to make multiple brief updates strictly pertaining to who shows up and lays down.

Taking this brief, first opportunity in the early hours of Day One, to all but eliminate The Walrus from the running at this year’s Masters. Now, anything can happen. However, Stadler after posting a 79 is in the clubhouse at +7. This leaves him poised to start tomorrow at least seven back (lowest score in the clubhouse is even) in, as it stands right now, 68th place.

Check out his first round scorecard on MajorChampionships.com

The other day when I said that the Tiger Woods hilarity reached its precipice, I lied…

Found via Buzzfeed

Following Tiger Woods’ car accident/ holiday media debacle this weekend, Yardbarker.com’s Director of Programming and friend to Steady Burn, Alana G, pitched the idea of a Tiger Woods crash video playlist to MTV Jams via Twitter, and MTV might run with it!







It is an 100% true statement to say that MTV considering a video playlist inspired by Tiger’s crash is the biggest media development in the Tiger Woods crash investigation at this time.

Great execution, Alana. If Tiger Woods is determined to play this one so close to the vest that I have to turn on The Today Show this morning and hear the likes of Mike Lupica say, “He’ll golf his way out of this.” (Also, a 100% true statement), then we should be allowed to throw some jabs in his direction.

Check out her suggested playlist at Alanag.yardbarker.com and send her some suggestion. Keeping with the sensibility of MTV Jams (the early 2000′s iteration that I’m most familiar with), for my suggestion – the artist is Usher, the song is ‘Confessions.’

Here’s one friends, about how one golfer beat 3,000,000,000 to 1 odds…

via Canada.com

HALIFAX — Twenty years of chasing a little white ball around a golf course culminated this week in five dizzying days of excitement for Adam Sams.

The 34-year-old lobster fisherman has hit three holes-in-one since Friday at the Highlands Links course in Cape Breton, one of Canada’s most famed public courses.

“It’s pretty amazing. We’ve never seen anything like that around here,” says Joe Robinson, the Links’ pro, who has worked at the historic course in Cape Breton Highlands National Park for 38 years.

The full story reports there was foul language usage and Jack Daniels drinkage (good form, CanWestNews Service, good form).

As a golfer who would love like any other golfer to do this once before I die, I find Sams’ quote zen-like:

“The sun was shining in our eyes, so I saw the ball roll towards the hole, but I couldn’t tell if it had gone in,we didn’t really know until I got up to the green…My first reaction was: ‘There’s eight guys I’ve now got to buy drinks for.’ “

No art on the Canuck miracle lobsterman Adam Sams yet, but I’ve got a picture in mind.

Nova Scotia golfer sinks three holes-in-one (Canada.com)

This is funny to me, because I can’t tell if these guys are in on the joke or not…

Was Was it a good show…tonight, I mean? a real question. That was choice cut awkwardness.I can’t believe she didn’t bite on your shout out, you smooth operator you.

Of course, then there was Mark Sanchez’ failed attempt (at humor). I like to call these dad jokes.

Hard to believe, but the U.S. Open is indeed over. This year’s victor Lucas Glover might as well be Crispin Glover in Back to the Future III. His time has passed. Time to move on to real golf entertainment, or at least a tournament that’s guaranteed not to finish up on a Monday while your at work. I’m talking of course about the American Century Championship, held every summer in Lake Tahoe – the land of gambling, skiing, that horrible Piven movie Smokin’ Aces, and a place where no man’s golf game would ever get delayed an extra day.

Every year about 80 celebs escape to the Lake so that they can put their 40-yard slices power-fades on display to be broadcast on NBC. Over the years, friendships have been forged at this event. Charles Barkley already challenged Alonzo Mourning to see who can get the lower score this year (probably be around 125). This year, TAHOECELEBRITYGOLF.COM has decided to enlist the sports blog intelligentsia to help foster new connections of would-be golf prowess. Take a look at the list below of the 2009 participants and select your Fantasy Pairings (could be a twosome, threesome, or foursome), and send me your quote-unquote rationale. Next Week leading up to the tournament, we’ll post the best and vote.

The winner is going get their fantasy pairing printed as a by-line in the 2010 American Century Program, which is a family publication, so keep it less-than offensive. TahoeCelebrityGolf.com will also send free merchandise to the top entries. To enter, either email me here or post a short entry on your blog and link back here. Readers are free to enter as well!

Voting kicks off next Monday and the winner will be decided during tournament week beginning July 13.

For my personal, yet very ineligible, submission I’m throwing out a threesome that no Country Club manager would ever dare try to put pin a single with: David Wells, Chuck Liddell and Brian Baumgartner, who plays Kevin on The Office.

These guys could be brothers if you ask me, the kind of brothers that go drink Budweiser in the garage of their parents house for 6 1/2 hours…and then go play a round. You see why I couldn’t have put Alfonso Ribeiro in this group.

Extra favor or consideration may be given to anyone who makes a case for a grouping that features Carlton from Fresh Prince. Check out the list…

1. Marcus Allen (NFL Hall of Fame RB)

2. Ray Allen (Boston Celtics)

3. Anthony Anderson (Law & Order, Barbershop)

4. Derek Anderson (Cleveland Browns)

5. Ronde Barber (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

6. Charles Barkley (Former NBA All-Star)

7. Steve Bartkowski (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

8. Shane Battier (Houston Rockets)

9. Brian Baumgartner (The Office)

10. Tim Brown (Former NFL All-Pro WR)

11. Joe Buck (Announcer)

12. Cris Carter (Former NFL All-Pro WR)

13. Joe Carter (Former MLB All-Star OF)

14. Matt Cassel (Kansas City Chiefs)

15. Chris Chandler (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

16. Vince Coleman (Former MLB All-Star OF)

17. Jay Cutler (Chicago Bears)

18. Jack Del Rio (NFL Head Coach: Jacksonville Jaguars)

19. Vinny Del Negro (NBA Head Coach: Chicago Bulls)

20. Richard Dent (Former NFL All-Pro LB)

21. Trent Dilfer (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

22. Herm Edwards (Former NFL Head Coach)

23. Trent Edwards (Buffalo Bills)

24. John Elway (NFL Hall of Fame QB)

25. Mike Eruzione (Captain, 1980 US Hockey Captain)

26. Marshall Faulk (Former NFL All-Pro RB)

27. Grant Fuhr (NHL Hall of Fame Goalie)

28. Trent Green (NFL All-Pro QB)

29. Anfernee Hardaway (Former NBA All-Star)

30. Rodney Harrison (NFL All-Pro Safety)

31. AJ Hawk (Green Bay Packers)

32. Dennis Haysbert (24, The Unit, Major League)

33. Todd Heap (Baltimore Ravens)

34. Oliver Hudson (Rules of Engagement)

35. Brett Hull (Former NHL All-Star)

36. Dan Jansen (Olympic Gold Medal Speed Skater)

37. Dale Jarrett (NASCAR Driver)

38. Dick Jauron (NFL Head Coach, Buffalo Bills)

39. Michael Jordan (NBA Legend)

40. Jason Kidd (Dallas Mavericks)

41. Pierre Larouche (Former NHL All-Star)

42. Matt Leinart (Arizona Cardinals)

43. Mario Lemieux (NHL Legend)

44. Chuck Liddell (MMA Fighter)

45. Kenny Lofton (Former MLB All-Star)

46. Neil Lomax (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

47. John Lynch (Former NFL All-Pro Safety)

48. Dan Marino (NFL Hall of Fame QB)

49. Tino Martinez (Former MLB All-Star 1B)

50. Chris McDonald (Happy Gilmore)

51. Bruce McGill (Animal House)

52. Jim McMahon (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

53. Bode Miller (World Class Skier)

54. Alonzo Mourning (Former NBA All-Star)

55. Kevin Nealon (SNL)

56. Daniel Negreanu (Professional Poker Player)

57. Terence Newman (NFL All-Pro CB: Dallas Cowboys)

58. Jonathan Ogden (Former All-Pro OL)

59. Paul O’Neill (Former MLB All-Star OF)

60. Carson Palmer (Cincinnati Bengals)

61. Digger Phelps (ESPN Analyst, Former Notre Dame Basketball Coach)

62. Wade Phillips (NFL Head Coach: Dallas Cowboys)

63. Maury Povich (Television Host)

64. Dan Quayle (Former U.S Vice President)

65. Dan Quinn (Former NHL Center)

66. Rick Rhoden (Former MLB All-Star Pitcher)

67. Alfonso Ribeiro (Fresh Prince of Bel Air)

68. Jerry Rice (Former NFL All-Pro WR)

69. Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packers)

70. Jeremy Roenick (San Jose Sharks)

71. Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers)

72. Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond)

73. Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys)

74. Matt Ryan (Atlanta Falcons)

75. Mark Rypien (Former All-Pro NFL QB)

76. Bret Saberhagen (Former MLB Pitcher/World Series MVP)

77. Joe Sakic (Colorado Avalanche)

78. Matt Schaub (Houston Texans)

79. Mike Schmidt (MLB Hall of Fame 3B)

80. Mike Shanahan (Former NFL Head Coach)

81. Sterling Sharpe (Former NFL All-Pro WR)

82. Emmitt Smith (NFL All-Time Rushing Leader)

83. Ozzie Smith ( MLB Hall of Fame SS)

84. Steve Spurrier (Univ. of South Carolina Football Coach)

85. Darryl Strawberry (Former MLB All-Star OF)

86. Wally Szczerbiak (Cleveland Cavaliers)

87. Lawrence Taylor (NFL Hall of Fame LB)

88. Vinny Testaverde (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

89. Joe Theismann (Former NFL All-Pro QB)

90. Billy Joe Tolliver (Former NFL QB)

91. Brian Urlacher (Chicago Bears)

92. Jack Wagner (The Bold and The Beautiful)

93. Antoine Walker (Former NBA All-Star)

94. Wes Welker (New England Patriots)

95. David Wells (Former All-Star Pitcher)

96. Ken Whisenhunt (NFL Head Coach: Arizona Cardinals)

After a 9 months of recovery from (count ‘em) four surgeries to remove a brain tumor, pro golfer Seve “Balls” Ballesteros made his first public appearance at a press conference in Spain today. With an eager press corps in attendance to hear about Seve’s battle, the five-time major champ went with what he knows, the Links references..

“Nine months ago my life was hanging by a thread. I feel now like I have a mulligan in life.“

“My recovery is like The Open in 1984 when the ball hovered on the lip of the hole. With all my energy I willed the ball to drop in and it did.

(via The Telegraph)

I love it. Best of luck with the continued recovery moving forward, you wacky Spaniard.

Check out the video:

During a conference call to promote the upcoming American Century Championship Celebrity Golf Tournament in Lake Tahoe, ‘Zo expounded on the imminent NBA Championship victory of the Lakers. Let’s just say, if this were Good Will Hunting, Koby is Damon and Phil is Affleck…Casey Affleck.

Hear it..

Alonzo on Phil Jackson

He left out, “put me and a pair of tinted lenses on the sideline!”


Phil’s response..well, his response if I were Phil:

Time Out Alonzo, how many rings do you have as compared to my nine secured and tenth one fast approaching? what? WHAT?

The answer is of course, Alonzo got the single ring many moons ago with Miami in 1996. He’s also a 100/1 favorite to win the American Century Championship (July 14-19) in Nevada next month.

Rings talk. Plaid walks.

Alonzo Mourning bashes Phil Jackson (No Guts, No Glory)
Alonzo Mourning:Phil Jackson’s ‘Just Showing Up’ (Sports By Brooks)
Lakers take hold of series, down Magic in overtime (Balls Don’t Lie)

I don’t even know Briny Baird, son of Butch Baird, but what a guy! He won the whole damn Country P.F. Changs!

Yesterday, while a whole lot of you were sitting at work dreaming about P.F. Chang’s chicken lettuce wraps, B.B. was atop the Omni Hotel in San Diego staring down at a make-shift bullseye set-up in right field of Petco Park, home of the San Diego Padres.

The task at hand, take ten shots from the 300+ foot elevated tee. If a single one landed in the center of the bullseye, every man and woman alive in America would receive a free P.F. Chang wrap (the kicker: you have to buy a damn entree. RATS!) Additionally, for every bullseye P.F. Chang’s donated $2,000 to the San Diego Navy/ Marine Corps Relief Society ($1,000 and $500 for the outer rings).

Now this was an elevated tee. It sat Monday on the roof of the Omni San Diego Hotel, 34 floors – 340 feet or thereabouts – above L Street, 268 yards to a flag stabbed into Petco Park’s right field turf and surrounded by a large bull’s-eye. Tough hole, but maybe the most picturesque in the history of golf.

Little wind, but always a threat of tricky gusts. No trees. Possible nosebleed. The only rough was the shot itself. Not since Alan Shepard sliced a few on the moon had we seen anything like it. A David Letterman stunt, perhaps. (SignOnSanDiego.com)

Briny put two in the center, and 8 of 10 in the scoring area – raising $17,500, which Chang’s upped to $25 large. Novel charity work by all (we all lost interest in the chicken lettuce wraps after hearing the damn entree kicker).

Go check out the video on SignOnSanDiego.com

Tee it up…way up…in the stratosphere.

That was Padraig Harrington and Raphael Jacquelin each letting the big dog eat on the 19th hole at Legend Golf & Safari Club (what a combo!) in South Africa. At 830 meters, it is the longest hole in the World. You can only get to the 430 meter elevated tee box by Helicopter. Anyone who holes one out from up there gets a cool million U.S. dollars.

(H/T to Twistedsifter.com)