I’ve been slacking on here, but this aught to redeem myself at least a little…

ALBION — No one struck out when it came to playing a marathon whiffle-ball game over the weekend for charity and a scholarship fund…They recorded the marathon on tape. It began at 7 p.m. Friday and ended at about 7 p.m. Saturday. (Whiffle-ball game for charity lasts 24 hours, sets record – Erie Times-News)

I think these stats speak for themselves…

• Final Score: 935 – 514, the game ended in the top of the 149th inning (there was no need for the home team to bat in the bottom half…with a 421 run lead)

• According to one of the player’s wives, some players hit 150 to 200 home runs (with a 64-foot fence, she’s probably not exaggerating that bad)

The players raised $1500 for charity, and (surprise, surprise) they could find themselves in the Guinness Book of World Records.

It’s a world record that would make most people dizzy.

Bounce, bounce, bounce … for 24 hours. That was what eight boys in Michigan did this week in an effort to set a world record.

The boys began the attempt Friday morning at the Bounce-a-Lot entertainment center southwest of Detroit in Flat Rock.

They bounced two at a time in shifts in an inflatable castle. (Metro UK Weird News)

What grinds my gears about these kids is that they’re rubbing it in my face that somewhere Summer vacation still exist, and I am no longer privy to it. Grrr, just look at how carefree these brats look in their mesh shorts and athletic socks! It appears that one kid has an i-pod, you don’t think that I’m listening to music right now that lends itself to bouncing in a giant inflatable balloon? It’s Panama, by Van Halen!

Guinness World Records must still authenticate the record, a process that could take months.

Months? What is this, appeals courts? Is it that we have juveniles attempting this, regularly? If that’s the case, personally, I hope there are some real sob stories out there. Maybe an errant toenail severed the bouncy thing in the seventeenth hour. Maybe a twister swept one away.

Oh, and you better believe that I’m annoyed they did it in rotation. Rotation? What are they, training for the Cop-Out Junior Olympics? Somebody should inform these kids about other faux-endurance activities we have in this country, like team marathons. People love these, because they’re part of team and only have to run part of the race. So people who could never run a real marathon decide to do it…drunk.

Assuming everything checks out and they actually get the record, maybe they’ll luck out and get listed in the book next to the guy who holds the record for wearing the most t-shirts at one time.

Is there a chapter in the Guinness book for ‘People Who Set World Records, But Come Off Looking Like Failures’?