On October 10, 72 teams from 18 states will travel to Las Vegas for the largest adult kickball tournament in the history of adult kickball. Probably, in the total history of all kickball (until Field Day Earth 2080, when the youth unite to take it back from old people).

This is the 12th annual World Championships of Kickball hosted by the World Adult Kickball Association, deemed the Founders Cup, which WAKA holds the registered trademark to despite there being at least a Canadian Lacrosse tournament, a U19 Girls Rugby tournament, and a boat shoe for women of the same name – good for them.

Las Vegas, NV August 26, 2009 — The stage is set for the ultimate adult kickball showdown. The World Adult Kickball Association® (WAKA), the world governing body of kickball, will host the 12th annual Founders Cup® World Kickball Championship® Tournament (Founders Cup) on Oct. 10, 2009 at Desert Breeze Park in Las Vegas.


Kickball once lived and died on the school playground, but in 1998, WAKA turned the kid’s game into a full-fledged sport by creating the first organized, widespread co-ed adult kickball league. Today, WAKA is the world’s largest adult kickball organization with thousands of teams across most major cities in the U.S., as well as internationally in London and Iraq.


“The Founders Cup showcases world-class kickball teams competing for the prestigious title of world kickball champion, while still enjoying the fun, social and all-inclusive experience WAKA is known for,” said David Lowry, co-founder of WAKA.

I’m trying to think through the progression of a 72-team bracket (Joe Lunardi sez, “go back to Russia, WAKA”), but I keep getting distracted by the team names (see: The Teams to Beat list). There’s those that range from fully uninspired to misogynistic-light (two teams named Balls Deep, and another named Balls Deeper). There are your pop culture plays on the word kick (Kick In A Box, Kickhopopotamus). And of course, booze references (Party Foul, Happy Hour, Menace to Sobriety). Here are the five teams I’m rooting for based on their cleverness alone:

The Royal Tennenballs (Santa Barbara, CA)
The Savage Freds (Culver City, CA)
Pitch Please! (Hollywood, CA)
Bulletproof Tigers (New York, NY)
Swift Kick in the Grass (Somerville, MA)

Hit the poll at the bottom to root for your favorite, and check out some video from last year’s Founder’s Cup… the first, an over-the-top promo (titled: Keep Dreamin’), the second, adult slip-n-slide.

World Adult Kickball Association to Hold World’s Largest Adult Kickball Tournament in Las Vegas (PR Web)

For those of you who know, and for those of you who are about to find out…

Welcome back, The Mooks of Kickball! Part Deux, Season 2, the Challenge…

Gotta keep it local for the first update of the new series with a wildly entertaining video that profiles the Brooklyn Kickball League – a glowing example of the undeniable fact that there are few things better than being outside and drinking.

Before you view this I should also add that is indeed a German TV documentary, and there is a Beavis & Butthead reference.

sich erfreuen!

The German language is so angry. I love it.

As mentioned in the past, I do play in this league (that was my girl Hillary from our squad Diddy’s White Party with the ball juggling maneuverings around the 4 min. mark). This video does not give team Never Scared’s sound system justice. It is literally a guitar amp, an ACDC converter box and an IPOD all running off of a car battery – rigged to a hand truck I think they stole from Home Depot.

Check back next week when I’ll post about this weekend’s International Kickball Invitational happening on Saturday in BK. (Hopefully, it won’t be totally overshadowed by The Cardboard Tube Fighting Tournament)

Check out last year’s post on The Mooks of Kickball (i.e. kickball was so 2008)

Remember when zombies were absolutely terrifying? (Thriller, Zombie Beach Party, Rob Zombie). Nowadays, they have a 100% better chance than you of getting a permit for their band of undead from Park & Rec. (and you just wanted to set-up the hibachi).

The return of Zombie Kickball was actually in 2007. This is Zombie Kickball IV: Kicking Ass and Taking Brains (lifted that one from their MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/zombiekickball)

Zombie Kickball Founder (Head Brain Banshee in Charge) Catherine Krupsky posted on MySpace that this is her last year organizing. Judging by the video, there’s a whole new generation that could either keep the tradition alive, or come up with the next pop culture leisure sport. (Post-apocalyptic nuclear winter bocce?)

Check out some photos (c/o Strange Maine)…

Un-dead zone (Portland Press Herald)

It’s been awhile, but I’m back with some vintage MOK. Remember your boy Kickball Jesus? He’s up to his old tricks , this time, pitting Hipsters against Mormons, on the kickball diamond.

Heavenly Father was Definitely NOT SMILING Down upon these Mormon Kickballers. Game 2 Saw a Mormon team comprised entirely of a (Ex-Mormon) guy and his Mormon cousin and his other Mormon cousin and his other Mormon cousin and his other Mormon cousin (it was weird but yes they were all related) and Hipsters leaving early for prior engagements to “U-Bomb” or ride kiddie bikes downhill or something.

In any case the Mormons have Fallen from Grace from Kickball God, “Heavenly Father” and pretty much Every Other God Looking Down and laughing at them this ALL HALLOWS EVE!

Conclusion: The hipster won, I don’t know what a U-Bomb is, and I do not care. End of story? Oh, The plot thickens…

AND SOOOOO…..Kickball Jesus was walking down the street the Morning after past the Mormon Temple…and LO AND BEHOLD he saw a empty box from a 12-pack of PBR lying right there on the front lawn of the Mormon Temple!!! A sign from KICKBALL GOD indeed that Kickball Jesus’s work here in SLC is NOT FINISHED!

Taunted for their beliefs that alcohol is demonic by a beer that taste so rightfully evil as Pabst – the ultimate sign of disrespect.

Where could I possibly be going with this?…

MORMON VS. HIPSTER KICKBALL 3!

The Holy Trilogy…The Douchey Trilogy…The Final Chapter. Taking place November 15 in Salt Lake (They’ve created a Facebook invite, so you know it’s legit).

Oh, sidebar, a guy who dubbed himself kickball jesus is apparently a hipster… big revelation.

Part Seven in an on-going series on kickball that I feel is determined to continue deep into the cold weather months…

After all, the National Power Poll was just issued this week! Here are the top-16 as compiled by Kickball365.com.

1.) Frosty Balls (VA Recess)
2.) Meatballs (FL West Palm/FL Beach)
3.) Hey Whoa (NY Gotham)
4.) Kick Asphalts (VA Dominion)
5.) Screw the Team (FL Riptide)
6.) Young Guns (FL West Palm/FL Beach)
7.) Menace 2 Sobriety (DC Rock Creek, DC Memorial)
8.) Off in Public (DC Liberty, DC Memorial)
9.) Blue Balls (VA Recess, VA Shore)
10.) Dumpster Fire (NY Freedom)
11.) We Kick Your Balls (AZ Valley)
12.) Friends With Benefits (VA Dominion)
13.) Gonzo (VA Alexandria, VA Arlington)
14.) Sofa King Good (CA Hollywood)
15.) Best Coast Ballers (CA Gold Rush)
16.) Gym Class All Stars (DC Monument)

Folks, you can rank anything in sports – as long as you power rank it. Kickball is no exception.

The rationale is broken down at Kickball365 as well. I’m assuming a certain subjective approach regardless. It’s hard to factor in the competitive nuances of each respective league. For instance, we learned months back that there is a vigilante terrorist group trying to bring the DC league down (see The Mooks of Kickball, part 3). Who knows how this affected some teams’ R.P.I.?

Here’s a photo of the cleverly named, #1-ranked Frosty Balls celebrating victory at the Founders Cup in Las Vegas…

photo credit

I’m ranked pretty high in most Cure songs played on jukeboxes in the Metro-NY area over the last six months. You can pretty much rank everything in life.

photo credit

Gawker gets the nod for this (yeah, right, cause they need my support) about a brawl that broke out on Sunday during the Brooklyn Kickball League’s final night of playoffs – Brooklyn Kickball Brawl: “Brother Fighting Against Brother”

This is the league we played in this year (knocked out in the first round of World Cup-style playoffs, unceremoniously). And I was there for this fiasco!

Ok, I was in the bar. But rumor was a full beer was heaved at someone – which is surprising with this crowd, because that’s really more of a meathead move.

Disappointing way for the season to end. This is the same kickball league that made Jimmy Traina’s SI.com Hot Clicks for hosting an International Tournament! (their fourth annual, in fact). Cooler heads did end up prevailing and according to BrooklynKickball.com the finals are rescheduled for next week.

But seriously, what sort of retaliation wouldn’t be justified for having a full beer hurled at you?Flamethrower?

Welcome to part six of my seemingly infinite discourse on the wacky (sometimes wackness) from the wide world of kickball.

Though we’re not exactly sure what this edition’s transgressor is up to, some guy who calls himself Kickball Jesus is pumping some kind of kickball meets desolation art exhibit in the Mojave Desert on his blog P.I.M.P.S (People Making Psychogeography Sexy)

Coming November 7th, 2008…

…Only at High Desert Test Sites (HDTS) The Worlds of Kickball and “Sub Fine” Art Collide in The Mojave Desert like Never Before!!

Stay Tuned for more info!!!

~Kickball Jesus (KJ)

Kickball’s Second Coming also affiliates himself with an organization dubbed ‘Kickball Jesus Speculative Ocean Front Property Development Corporation’, which he owns the copyright on.

Whatever this is (probably just a guy whose government name is now kickball jesus), it will be the inaugural exhibit of the Wonder Valley Institute of Art, located in the cultural mecca of Mojave.

Links:

Wonder Valley International C(K)ickball Association (P.I.M.P.S)
Wonder Valley Institute of Contemporary Art

In 2007, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation issued a report called Recess Rules. Obviously. Recess was excellent, except for indoor recess – especially back in the 80′s when we had one Commodore 64 in the classroom. I maintain that bad weather depression is not an innate response, but a learned condition from years spent playing paper football during recess on gloomy days (sucked).

I never thought it would get this out of hand…

TAMPA, FL — Police have arrested a local kickball coach and charged him with raping a 21-year-old kickball player. 26-year-old Andre Javon Newton is also accused of threatening the player’s life.

Investigators say Newton visited the woman in late July and asked her to help provide money for kickball uniforms.

When she went into a bedroom, he reportedly followed her, pushed her onto a bed, and then raped her.

Tampa Police say this is the same kickball league that spawned fights at Riverfront Park back in late-May when officers responded to a brawl of about 100-people. (ABC Action News – Tampa kickball coach accused of raping player)

With the past incidents, It would not shock me if Tampa had some sort of penal kickball league already in existence. Unfortunately for this mook, he’s probably just got lots and lots of solitary confinement to look forward to.

Related Posts:

What the Hell is going on with these Kickball Leagues?
Women’s Kickball League Banned From Tampa Parks, Files Complaint With NAACP

Just when I thought it had reached its peak…

According to Washington City Paper, “The Greatest Kickball Lawsuit of All Time” has come to end.

“In 2006, the World Adult Kickball Association (WAKA) sued upstart DC Kickball, claiming that founder and former WAKA officer Carter Rabasa had stolen the association’s proprietary rules and then defamed WAKA by calling it “the Microsoft of kickball.” Offended and pouting, WAKA demanded $356,000 in damages. Had the legal recourse existed for it, they likely would have forced Rabasa to play bocce for the rest of his life.” (DCist)

A motion filed in April by both sides to dismiss the case was just passed. (i.e. everyone woke up)

There is absurdity abound here, clearly.

• The WAKA, LLC. A limited liability company (for kickball!). Sounds official, I know. You probably pay your rent to an LLC. Apparently, there is clout to be had in the kickball market, but the “Microsoft of Kickball?” The conglomerate empire…of kickball! Where am I? Even the Initech of kickball shouldn’t exist!

• $356,000 in damages! That’s like somebody’s pension, if they have decent mob ties. A lawyer – in the unaccredited and strip mall sense of the profession – screed that on some documentation at one point while this suit was going on. Apparently, they were a little off, and calling somebody the Microsoft of is not actually defamation.

Forget the legal precedent set here, Let’s see if we can get a few of the same cuckoo puff law-types back involved, and reopen these proceedings with Frank Zappa suing for copyright infringement – citing the tampering of his song Waka Zawaka.

For the record, copyright infringement, tampering – I don’t know if any of this is proper terminology. If this wasn’t such fantasy camp stuff, I’d be more concerned.