RSM McGladrey is holding an essay contest to win a date with Natalie Gulbis.

Essay contest? Apparently, they’ve been reading my blog posts on the resurgence of kickball, and have realized that everyone wishes they were still in fourth grade.

It has to be under-200 words. Lucky for Natalie, I am as succinct as I am suave.

Top-3 reasons Natalie and I are perfect for each other:

1. My dream job…pro caddy (though I’d give it all up in heartbeat to be Natalie’s human golf tee)



2. I’ve put myself on a thirty year plan to join the Champion Tour – plan to shave a stroke, and add a yard of driving distance per year.



3. I’ll take a Wii golf babe over Wii fit babes any day of the week

Supposedly the theme of the essay is Who’s Behind Your Success? However, I figure it will be hard to argue with my above reasoning…especially when I’m so goddam independently successful

Go check it out, and maybe you’ll have a shot at one of the runner-up prizes like the SkyCaddie measuring device.

Paula Creamer – whose name is so suggestive it turns you into Beavis – carded a course record 60 yesterday in the first round of the Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic. Creamer birdied nine of her last 11 holes.

Playing partner Natalie Gulbis, who really mailed it in with 74, said of Creamer, “she’s a birdie machine!”

Well said, Natalie. I’m definitely aroused.

These two rivals in LPGA babedom are paired together again today. And as usual, I’ve done scrupulous research leading up to their tee time… here’s a swing comparison:

I didn’t hear a goddam word she just said. I know a little about golf, so I’ll summarize what we’re seeing here…torque.

Unadulterated…sexified…torque.

Creamer Shoots 60, Leads LPGA’s Farr by Five Strokes

Natalie Coughlin did herself and her country a solid by breaking the 100-meter backstroke World Record yesterday…it reminded me of what a dime piece she is.

Check out the best of the rest…

• 5 Areas of Concern for a Sports Blogger (The Sports Dollar)
• Your Fourth of July Throwgasm Breakdown (Deadspin)
• Wayne Rooney and WAG Honeymoon in Vegas (on205th)
• The Cooley Zone: collecting cards and selling them on Ebay (The Shutdown Corner)
• That’s a Piercing Scream (With Leather)
• Shaq’s Kobe Rap Immortalized as a Cell Ring Tone (SportsByBrooks)

…she’s still not my favorite Natalie though.

…or my second favorite.

Santogold’s new album is pretty choice; think M.I.A. for the more docile amongst us.

• J Koot reminds you to set your DVR to record Natalie Gulbis and the ladies of the LPGA (Busted Coverage)
• A Summer Without Lost? Depressing (The Big Lead…and, here here)
• Brahs in the Bush (Brahsome…you guys like Ace Ventura 2 don’t you)
• Kung Fu Kitty (on205th)
• Red Lasso Strikes Back (Silicon Alley Insider)

…nada mas. Enjoy the weekend!

Natalie Gulbis, redux.

Check out Busted Coverage to see the evil idea brought forth by the menace J Koot. And be on the lookout over there for my personal birthday message to a certain EA.

(Been a while since I threw up some) Inspired Thoughts:

“…the punk kid asked me if i wanted a “new” camera, as if i was going to say, “nah, its cool, gimme a used one, i dont care…”, i walked out of the store before he could even put a period on the end of his sentence.”

said, C. Bley, regarding a trip to Circus City last night to purchase a digital camera.

More posts later…maybe a tribute to Wes Snipes (doing a three year bid)…maybe some Patriot Draft Day recommendations. Should be time for both.

mmmm, nuhnuhnuh!

Sitting in my in-box when I got to work this morning.

/it’s gonna be a good day.

…oh man, what I wouldn’t give.