I’ve long been campaigning (lamenting to people with no authority or pull, whatsoever) in favor of the four-day work week. It obviously hasn’t happened…yet.

In the interest of idealists nationwide, each Friday I’m going to draft a list of how I could be better spending my time if I wasn’t confined to the office.

Because I am nothing, if not overly productive, during freedom time.

Inquire about this young lady’s Stairmaster routine

Look into becoming a Minister of Sport

Let Giada teach me (I’m referring to teaching me the art of Tuscan cuisine, of course)

Sell Lebron my dad’s Barry Manilow collection

Find girls who like Guitar Hero. And look like these.

Claim a portion of a sports franchise’s windfall profits (sweet payout)

Show up at the Philly tailgate, and compete in (dominate) the beer joust (just be on the lookout for the bafooniest group of mongoloids in the parking lot)

Somehow, acquire a free subscription to Wizard Magazine

Price Rorschach trenches

Put drift tires on the old…ok, you found me out, I don’t own a car

Walk around France (Lower East Side) beating on stuff with drum sticks (Man Man is a stupendous band!)

Pick up some Vicktory Dogs vino for my next suaree (of warehouse, back alley cocktail affair)

Tweet @ShaquilleOneal quotes from Kazaam

Tune-in (online) to the Roller Derby Nationals!

Stage a protest (a hostile one, if possible) against the S.C.A. (Society for Creative Anachronism – how much douchier can you get?!)

Get the Phil Spector doo

And finally, test my luck in the Urban Rodeo (sadly, these guys are a walking argument for why it’s a good thing we’re all stuck at work today)

So there you have it, some activities to consider. You’ll probably just end up creating a spoof profile on J-Date. (That you’ll actually check regularly).

Baroness has been described as the musical equivalent of bodyblow-bodyblow-uppercut. You ever get in the mood to just listen to metal? I do, frequently.

Blogger Interview: Hugging Harold Reynolds (The Big Picture)
Wee Man Picks Shaq Up Off the Ground, Video (NESW Sports)
David Stern renames NBA teams due to boredom (Cuzoogle)
Jets Flight Crew got new unis; Sterger still employed (on205th)
10 Hottest Actresses in Sports Movies (InGameNow blog)
These Go To Eleven: Hottest Cartoon Characters (Brahsome)

…that’s a masterful post by Brahsome, by the way. Speaking of which, Baroness was a pretty hot G.I. Joe character herself.

Natalie Coughlin did herself and her country a solid by breaking the 100-meter backstroke World Record yesterday…it reminded me of what a dime piece she is.

Check out the best of the rest…

• 5 Areas of Concern for a Sports Blogger (The Sports Dollar)
• Your Fourth of July Throwgasm Breakdown (Deadspin)
• Wayne Rooney and WAG Honeymoon in Vegas (on205th)
• The Cooley Zone: collecting cards and selling them on Ebay (The Shutdown Corner)
• That’s a Piercing Scream (With Leather)
• Shaq’s Kobe Rap Immortalized as a Cell Ring Tone (SportsByBrooks)

…she’s still not my favorite Natalie though.

…or my second favorite.