The proprietor of Murder Rock Golf Course is back at it again… (via i-am-so-bored)

What they don’t want you to know, is that he teen wolfed a beer on the next hole.

LINKS:

Even with his game in decline, Daly still a draw (AP)

Considering that the movie came out in 1985, these Goonies sneakers are pretty futuristic – minus the burlap sack they come in. (via Pop Candy)

Sports Center Fights Are Always Fun (Awful Announcing)
When Athletes Blog… (Ladies…)
NBC Hopes To Cook Up Football Fun w/New Book (SportsByBrooks)
Is Big Brown Really Back? (Barstool Sports)
This Should Go Well: Joe Torre Tells Manny to Shave His Dreads (Fanhouse)

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Looks like your standard fare of cirque de acrobatics, and rhythmic gymnastics… along with the recreation of a storm trooper roll out.

It is unclear whether the video’s release was authorised, although it is highly unlikely as there has been a huge security clampdown around the ceremony with Chinese officials closely guarding their secret plans.

The 30 seconds of footage shows kung fu fighters, trapeze gymnasts, a giant earth globe, floating 3D humpback whales and orchestral music. (The Guardian UK)

You ever watch the gut-wrenching pageantry that is the opening ceremony? It’s painful. I don’t think even 3-D humpback whale illusions can save it from it’s inherent tedium.

The Koreans really grifted Beijing with this one. Check out the video here.

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NFL Training Camp begins, and looks like the District is off to an irreverent start.

Original Marty McFly Hoverboard On Ebay (Tasty Booze)
The decline of Western Civilization… (on205th)
Australian $5 Million Dollar Blogger (The Sports Dollar)
Man Crawls Over Finish Line In NYC Triathlon (Barstool Sports)
Own your own professional basketball team (Balls Don’t Lie)

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I believe Gordon Gano said it best with the lyrics: The City is Restless, It’s Ready to Pounce (The Violent Femmes were a quality 80′s band)

The AP is reporting today:

BEIJING – Beijing will set up specially designated zones for protesters during next month’s Olympics, a security official said Wednesday, in a sign China’s authoritarian government may allow some demonstrations during the games. (Beijing to set up Olympic protest zones)

According to the AP, the free zones are being set up miles away from the main festivities at the Olympic Green – out by the softball field and the beach volleyball courts. They’d also appreciate it if all protesters would apply for permission beforehand.

Is there going to be a specific check-in table for objectors? And should you provide a list of militants for RSVP purposes?

Friday night, I went to an event that was described to me prior as a midget bullfight where free tequila would be served. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to go, as that I felt morally responsible to.

Is bullfighting even legal in New York!? I thought, as we made our way out to this spectacle. It was out by the Brooklyn Bridge; I presumed at some abandoned warehouse where I would be frisked for weapons and contraband on the way in. Maybe there would be reckless gambling involved!

Turns out there were no bulls. No midgets! The event was actually a book release party at a harmless bookstore (read: no abandoned warehouse, no gambling whatsoever). Thankfully, the free tequila was not a myth, and we drank that liquid opium in the children’s section and read Where The Wild Things Are.

The party was for the release of Enanitos Toreros by Livia Corona. She spent almost a decade living in Mexico at a dwarf colony, the residents of which are huge bullfighting enthusiasts, see for yourself:

I hope you stuck with that until the :22 point. Enanitos Toreros is in stores now!

MGMT at McCarren Park Pool this coming Sunday is the Rock ‘n Roll social event of the week. (it’s free too!)

Check out a video after the linking gold…

• Steve Nash and Baron Davis Just Cruisin’ (Barstool Sports)
• The Great NBA Cheesecake Factory Conspiracy (Fanhouse)
• This is Real (Deuce of Davenport)
• Great Moments in Demolition Derby History (on205th)
• The Lovely Hidden Gems of Indie Rock (Epic Carnival)
• Socialism has solved every traffic jam in the World (Deadspin)
• Invest in an NFL Team (Sports Agent Blog)

This is unreal… Finland is awesome.

Yeah, that just happened.

The winner gets his wife’s weight in beer… It is derived from the tribal practice of wife stealing.

I always assumed that Finland was sort of a dark, decrepit country – incapable of something so righteous. I guess I was mistaken.

It took me an hour and a half to get to work today on the subway… it usually takes about 25 minutes.

Sitting there, stagnant, I thought… this is so goddam awesome! what could make this better?

… then somebody farted. Dick. Move.

Alas. I’m gonna go toast a bagel, and put butter and peanut butter on that guy. Check these out:

• Here Comes The Olympic Hoops Qualifier (Fanhouse)
• New Sport: “Naked Rock Climbing” (Deuce of Davenport)
• Would Anyone Like to Know the Whereabouts of Mike Hargrove? (Tirico Suave)
• Who Had the Worst Week (Bugs & Cranks)
• A Modest Proposal For the 2008 Ryder Cup (Rumors and Rants)
• Anatomy of Sports Blogger Slump (The Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• Stephen A. Smith Loses His Mind on ESPN When Talking About Favre (Awful Announcing)
• The Sports Delorean: WWF Vignettes (Joe Sports Fan)

This was once again not your prepubescent self’s kickball…

In the second game I watched during yesterday’s Third Annual International Kickball Invitational in Brooklyn, N.Y., a girl playing first base was brought to the ground by an opposing player barreling down the base line. His tackling technique was nothing if not textbook. She bounced back remarkably well from the bear hug take down, as her team’s second baseman ran to cover her up – as one of her boobs had freed itself from her bikini top.

Along with All-Star teams assembled from the Brooklyn League, there were squads in attendance from Canada (read: International!), the deep South (Atlanta), and the midwest (Hoboken, NJ).

The eventual champions – one of the four Brooklyn teams – notched a mercy rule victory in their second game of the day, against a team that came all the way from Toronto.

So did you guys rent a church van or something? I asked some the Canadians. No, gas is stupid, we took the bus…it took 11 hours. That’s a long ways to come to get throttled like that.

The tournament ran all day Saturday from 1 – 11 p.m. – which by my estimation is the longest recorded kickball tournament since Jesus coined the term balls in 15 A.D. (Quote: Get these balls, sucka sayeth the Lord to Judas; Corinthian 21:12)

McCarron Park in BK provided the ultimate self-indulgent backdrop for an organized group of several hundred adults playing an elementary school game. Like most hot, humid days in New York, the park was overrun with beautiful people laying on beach towels, just sort of looking at each other. Also, there was not one, but dueling Mister Softee trucks – which will be getting my business, I wonder?

Prior to the start of the tournament, I spent a good amount of time sitting on a bench drinking a 32-ounce Budweiser out of styrofoam cup watching these Polish kids pelt each other with water balloons. A little girl about five flanked me, and hit me square in the junk with one. Miraculously, it didn’t pop; she was so mad it didn’t explode all over me. I was relieved, I didn’t need to walk around the rest of the day with wet junk.

Even though they didn’t play particularly well, the Canadians did show up with Maple Leaf umbrella hats, an apparent traveling mascot dressed as Dionysus, and ketchup flavored potato chips.

Luckily I had the 32-ounce King of Beers or I never would have gotten the taste of those putrid chips out of my mouth.

See some more photos of the tournament below, as well as one of the more clever trash cans I’ve seen in my day. Check out more at BrooklynKickball.com as well.