I’d like to go on record saying that I’m extremely surprised – but no less satisfied that it exists – that an ad aligning the longevity of the Isner-Mahut match with sexual longevity only got 756 views (as of this moment) on YouTube.
H/T to SI’s Bryan Armen Graham for tweeting this a few minutes ago.
Around the age of nine, I was looking to make some extra scratch. I’d just come off a failed scheme of trying to sell superballs made out of play doh – they were more ornamental than bouncy, mainly because play doh don’t bounce. For my new business venture, I decided to gut a bunch of my Sports Illustrated for Kids magazines so I could sell the individual glossy pictures of the athletes. I went at the books with a pair of scissors cutting out all the mid-nineties stars and pasting their likenesses onto construction paper – I was destined to be as lucrative as say the person(s) who patented play doh or the 1000 sheet assortment pack of construction paper.
I sold one. And only because my mom, like most women in the early 90′s, had a real live thing for Andre Agassi.
Why am I telling you about this misadventure in childhood capitalism? (Especially, since I was obviously destined for such lucrativeness later in life.) I wanted to convey how hard it’s going to be to break the news about Andre’s hair weave to my mom. It’d be easier for everyone involved if she watched 60 Minutes last night and had already been shattered by this coming out.
Now that the hidden truth behind Andre’s scalp has been Couric’d, those of you who are going to need to cope by remembering Agassi’s coif in its age of innocence, I suggest the antidote that is his commercial work from the early 90′s. I’ve embedded my Top-5 Agassi pitch moments from the 90′s below – surprise, they’re all for Nike and the Canon Rebel. Apologies if the few ads where he appears with a shaved head in the mid-90s are too much for some to bear.
Special consideration to The Wade Blog, check out their Top-10 Agassi Commercials here.
Even if you’re merely a casual fan of men’s tennis, you should be psyched by Rafael Nadal’s return to court tomorrow. To clarify, by casual, I mean you recall Wimbledon and our looking forward to the U.S. Open at the end of the month.
Based on how Wimbledon went (with Nadal sitting out due to an ailing knee), we could see a pretty decent four man battle – assuming Nadal returns true to form, and Andy Roddick and the could-be newly #2 ranked Andy Murray show up like they did at the All England. Or, it could just go back to the Federer vs. Nadal show, that’s kool and the gang too. Point is, I don’t think anyone expects, or is rooting for, Rafa to come back and be anything less than a top contender. Except maybe his old soccer coach…
In anticipation of Nadal’s first match back, The Telegraph posted 20 Things You Didn’t Know About Rafael Nadal, two of which dealt with his background as a football player in his youth…
3. Rafael himself was a promising footballer, and scored 100 goals in his local junior league.
4. He gave up football aged just 12 because his coach did not like his players playing more than one sport, and would leave him on the bench if he arrived after playing tennis.
Granted the opportune term here is local junior league – I’m sure this wasn’t the Real Madrid Development Program. Speaking of which, the trajectory of the coach from Nadal’s former club probably didn’t ascend much past Mayorca Park & Rec. either.
Also of note, he’s still got skills..
Nadal Begins His Comeback in a Different Tennis World (New York Times)
You Can’t Be Serious?! John McEnroe, aka Johnny Mac, aka Tantrums, is going to once again return to the courts next year in Zurich.
This isn’t going to affect his budding pitchman career, is it?
Brewers Sausage getting PWNED 4-28-09 (PWNED Video)
Sexy Female MMA Fighters (Gunaxin)
Mariano Rivera: Sign Of The Times? (Josh Q. Public)
Holiday Special: Bad Ass Mothers (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
The 10 Best Goalie Fights You’ve Ever Seen (In Game Now Blog)
Ron Artest Says He’s Poor And His Team Sucks (Total Pro Sports)
Are there any good guys left in baseball? (Paneech)
Irish Army Banned From Playing Soccer & Volleyball In Chad Because The
Ground Is Too Hard (Sports Rubbish)
My good pal Jake who writes for this blog sent this to me yesterday letting me know that Joakim Noah’s dad and former tennis great Yannick Noah may have, as it’s been rumored, in fact at one point in his life been legitimate musically. Why else would Central Park have added him to the list of artists playing Summerstage, right?
Yannick the tennis phenom went pro in ’77 at the age of 17. Among his feats of tennis prowess include becoming the first Frenchman to win the French Open in 37 years when he did so in 1983 (dropping only one set throughout the tournament). During his career, Noah won a combined 39 singles and doubles titles and was inducted into the Tennis Hall of Fame in 2005. He also played on the French Davis Cup Team for 11 years. In 1991, Noah captained a French team which won its first Davis Cup title in 59 years.
That same year, Noah released his debut album Black of What. Apparently, after winning the Davis Cup, he led his player and the whole stadium in a rousing rendition of Saga Africa, his breakout track off of Black or What. (Wikipedia – Yannick Noah)
Did I mention the show in Central Park is free?
Fine work by Federer to get out of there before McEnroe suggested they get an apartment together off the coast of Dubai…
Hope he brought a pumice sponge to wash off all that awkward.
For my next birthday, all I want is 15 seconds of footage of myself getting the Gatorade shower filmed using the super slow-mo.
Presumably, sometime in the next few days there will be a big bruhaha for the Celtics at Fenway Park.
I put it to you, who will get to throw out the first pitch?
Please find the poll on the side underneath my mug. I’ve nominated the big three, the skip, and the man I believe will have the most free time on his hands.
Now that this NBA business is done with, we can move on to other sports happenings. Like Ana Ivanovic being a babe and being ranked number one at Wimbledon.
