In honor of this very glorious Day One at The Masters, aspiring to make multiple brief updates strictly pertaining to who shows up and lays down.

Ian Woosnam stinks. I haven’t heard his name since approx. 1992.*

Woosie is +9. Only Mike Campbell (+11) posted a lower score.

In other news, Tiger Woods is currently on pace to post his lowest first day score at The Masters ever.

*Woosnam won the damn thing in ’91. Give credit where credit is due.

Check out his first round scorecard on MajorChampionships.com

In honor of this very glorious Day One at The Masters, aspiring to make multiple brief updates strictly pertaining to who shows up and lays down.

At the rate the field is going, Jim Furyk may have to card in the low 60s to make the cut tomorrow. (Even so, can you completely count The Grinder out?) After being two-under thru three at one point, Furyk sank four double-bogeys on the back nine and shot a plus-8 80 today. Currently, that’s putting him tied for 93rd with A. Hansen. I bet you can find out why they call Furyk The Grinder faster than you can find out A. Hansen’s first name.

Check out his first round scorecard on MajorChampionships.com

In honor of this very glorious Day One at The Masters, aspiring to make multiple brief updates strictly pertaining to who shows up and lays down.

There are far worse rounds completed and on-going. However, Tom Watson is in the clubhouse at -5, which puts Rory Sabbatini eight off the pace after 18 holes. Plus, he’s a jerk. This is by far my favorite collections of mis-fires early on today. Again, anything can happen. But I’m definitely voting for the more stand-up guys – a Larry Mize, a Jim Furyk, a Capt. Ben Crenshaw – to turn it around tomorrow far more than Sabbatini.

Check out his first round scorecard on MajorChampionships.com

The Tiger Woods press conference is going to be Grade A caliber B.S…unless he’s cries. If he cries, it’s going to rule (and hopefully inspire a slow jam). But most likely, it’ll be awful, not at all like this…

via videosift.com

The Wu Tang Clan, not likely to be amongst the six people who were invited to today’s Tiger event.

The other day when I said that the Tiger Woods hilarity reached its precipice, I lied…

Found via Buzzfeed

In lieu of any hard news to report regarding the developing Tiger Woods investigation (unless you’re a Tool Academy fan), the hilarity of speculation has reached its precipice.

Tiger: Even in Chinese, Is Funny (Josh Q. Public)

Following Tiger Woods’ car accident/ holiday media debacle this weekend, Yardbarker.com’s Director of Programming and friend to Steady Burn, Alana G, pitched the idea of a Tiger Woods crash video playlist to MTV Jams via Twitter, and MTV might run with it!







It is an 100% true statement to say that MTV considering a video playlist inspired by Tiger’s crash is the biggest media development in the Tiger Woods crash investigation at this time.

Great execution, Alana. If Tiger Woods is determined to play this one so close to the vest that I have to turn on The Today Show this morning and hear the likes of Mike Lupica say, “He’ll golf his way out of this.” (Also, a 100% true statement), then we should be allowed to throw some jabs in his direction.

Check out her suggested playlist at Alanag.yardbarker.com and send her some suggestion. Keeping with the sensibility of MTV Jams (the early 2000′s iteration that I’m most familiar with), for my suggestion – the artist is Usher, the song is ‘Confessions.’

Haven’t posted on here in awhile – five days, what a ball of suck and fail I’ve become.

But, I refuse to relent.

….

Moving right along, Tiger Woods gets back to crushing his competition today (2:02 p.m. EST tee time). I like this move of starting out in a Match Play tournament (all you gotta do is be better than the one guy you’re playing against). Many triumphant returns to Tiger.

Check out this clever ad from Nike Golf…

I am legitimately worried about this guy’s career peaking too early.

Japanese phenom Ryo Ishikawa became the youngest golfer to win on any tour at the age 15, and at age 17 has already risen up the ranks to #60 in the World. Not to mention he finished 5th overall in the money last year.

He’s a phenom festival, plus he looks like he’s going to unleash a tornado whirlwind kick after he’s done reading this green

I’m sure he could have just called somebody if he wanted to get exempt for stateside PGA event this year, but before he had the chance to do that Arnold Palmer played his consummate golf legend card and took matters into his own hand.

According to PGAtour.com, Palmer sent Ishikawa a personalized letter asking him participate in the Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill (March 23-26). Ishikawa, known also as ‘the shy prince’, graciously accepted and will be one of two exempt players who will get to compete against a top-ranked field next March that could include Tiger Woods, who could potentially return to tour action by then.

(Japanese phenom accepts Palmer’s Bay Hill invitation)

Government Mandated Playoff? I Don’t Think So (The World According to Moondog)
ESPN Fixes Up Sunday Night Baseball Broadcast… By Adding Steve Phillips?! (Sharapova’s Thigh)
HHR’s Penthouse Forum…Win a PEPSI SUPERBOWL PRIZE PACK (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Titans QB Collins added to Pro Bowl roster (FoxSports.com)
When A Blonde Backs Caboose Into Scott Van Pelt (Busted Coverage)
The NBA’s midseason report card – Hot or not style (Cuzoogle)
Kevin Johnson said he would skunk Barack Obama, Video (NESW Sports)
Z-Trip’s “The Victory Lap: The Obama Mixtape Part 2″ (Music For Perfect People)
In Mild Upset, Red Sox, Jonathan Papelbon Avoid Arbitration Hearing (Fanhouse)
How To Defend Against A Bear Hug (Barstool Sports)

c/o milk and cookies.

He read that sharp right-to-left break nicely.