The not-exactly decorated UK Olympic squad returns home tomorrow after just one athlete received a medal. Amy Williams, pictured above, who’s as cute as she is, I’m assuming, goddam crazy got the gold in skeleton.
In an article in the Guardian today, the Team UK brass is pleading that they need more funding if they’re going to do better in 2014. The team fell short of their lofty overall goal to win three medals – sigh, could have beaten Latvia (two silvers in the men’s skeleton and doubles luge).
Conan returns tonight. He’s got a fresh time slot. Fresh studio in Los Angeles. Also, Pearl Jam is playing!! In my opinion, his reemergence once again cements the late night talk show as the TV that everyone sorta likes, and no one seems to hate radically.
Seriously, Conan rules and Jimmy Fallon drools like an invalid. As an honor to his host competency, decided to compare his finer qualities (red hair, translucent skin tone) to some of the sporting world’s finest.
Here are your Top-5 Conan Sports Figure Look-alikes. Hit the poll at the bottom or suggest your own in the comment (the only disqualification goes to Brian Scalabrine – who’d be a contender if he wasn’t already a dead-on for Rapaport)
Robert Swift – our first nominee is all things pale, ginger, and as gangly as the day is long – extra points.
Corey Schneider – he’s not just some random red-headed hockey player I pulled off Google images. This guy is actually the goalie for the Manitoba Moose, AHL affiliate of the Vancouver Canucks.
…Mountie Conan says extra points for being in Canada.
Prince Harry – or Harry Windsor, the poloist
Lil Red, Nebraska Cornhuskers Mascot – could have gone down the mascot road with a few candidates (from the Louisville Cardinal to the fire guy from the Beijing Olympics), but I thought this goofball represents best…
Chris Shelton – more like if Conan had a baby with Sloth from Goonies. There just aren’t that many good pale red baseball players (Mark McGwire and Wade Boggs – both retired, too easy, and not to mention both probably currently looking more like giant versions of the red Ooga Booga).
Don’t forget to cast a vote…
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